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Post by micah1199 on Jun 26, 2017 9:07:48 GMT -5
You all make good points. I guess the key is finding someone truly pious and not marrying a worldling with a trad veneer that often happens and leads to heartbreak.
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myrnam
Junior Member
100th Member
Posts: 94
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Post by myrnam on Jun 26, 2017 10:32:20 GMT -5
When I was in seventh grade, the nun there told the class that we should all pray each night one Hail Mary for the person we would marry. I did that! Married an agnostic, but a good man, often wondered why after all my prayers I ended up with an agnostic. Looking back and seeing some of my friends that I kept in touch with, they all married Catholics, but they all fell away, and my agnostic husband died a Catholic, and lived one for the last 18 years of his life.
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Post by Clotilde on Jun 26, 2017 13:30:25 GMT -5
I personally think it is better in these days for the majority of traditional Catholics to get married. The reason why is because they will need support in their Faith in the coming days. Many people have tiny families now and almost no siblings, when their Catholic parents die they will be on their own, alone against the world. I would be much more secure knowing they had a good spouse with whom to "work out their salvation." Additionally, who will make decisions at the end of their lives, call a priest, make sure they are buried properly? The answer is pretty much no one unless they have Catholic children. Having a family and a good marriage is a revolt against the spirit of the world. This is another post that induced me to register as a member, as the above exactly describes my situation. Tiny family, only one sibling- who is estranged due to our opposed religious views-, and both parents deceased. Our Lord, Our Lady, and St. Joseph have protected me so far, and certainly are capable of doing so until the end, but the position is dangerous and frightening. That is a perspective that not is discussed nearly enough. In fact, I don't know that I've ever seen a thoughtful discussion on the matter.
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Post by Clotilde on Jun 26, 2017 13:35:44 GMT -5
I personally think it is better in these days for the majority of traditional Catholics to get married. The reason why is because they will need support in their Faith in the coming days. Many people have tiny families now and almost no siblings, when their Catholic parents die they will be on their own, alone against the world. I would be much more secure knowing they had a good spouse with whom to "work out their salvation." Additionally, who will make decisions at the end of their lives, call a priest, make sure they are buried properly? The answer is pretty much no one unless they have Catholic children. Having a family and a good marriage is a revolt against the spirit of the world. This is a really good point. I feel like we live in a world gone mad. But it is possible for us, at least to some extent, to make our homes into oases of sanity and faith. Being a homemaker has always been more important that the modern world gives it credit for, but it may be even moreso now. It is a crucial battlefield in a time of spiritual war. Helping my husband, raising my children, running my home are things I do to fight the world, the flesh and the devil. I sent my youngest daughter (the older ones are already married) to a small Catholic college this past year, partly to give her a bigger social of practicing Catholic young people. It is a college that attracts both trads and conservative Novus Ordo, so not everyone there has views that I completely agree with. But I think this is better than a situation in which most people she meets have absorbed the views of the world. I absolutely agree with you. I think they key is to help your child identify the points that would narrow the search or what would be the parameters. Most couples do not start out with the same mind on certain things and then they grow together. I think finding someone that with whom you can grow together instead of apart is key.
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turin
New Member
Posts: 45
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Post by turin on Jul 6, 2017 21:29:03 GMT -5
All the Catholic dating websites I've been on are awful. Dating sites like CatholicMatch allow complete heretics who openly deny the Church's teaching on contraception, premarital sex, and so on to remain on their site. There are two or three "trad" exclusive dating sites but they are inactive and very expensive if you want to actually message anyone.
I plan on moving somewhere with a larger population of trads once I finish school. Maybe near a seminary, my parents met at an ordination.
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Post by RitaMarita on Jul 8, 2017 19:17:05 GMT -5
The catechism says that God gives us whatever we ask for under two conditions:
1. If we ask for it properly...
2. If it is the best thing for our souls...
I have heard many amazing stories of how different people have met their prospective spouses.
I think that perseverance in prayer, patience, and complete surrender to the will of God are the primary keys to finding a good spouse.
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Post by William Pius Robert Winslow on Jul 9, 2017 1:00:31 GMT -5
I wish I had some ideas for discussion here, but I don't. Within the next couple years we will be moving about 30 minutes south, which is where most of our close Catholic friends live who also have growing families. I'm hoping our children will marry each other, lol. There is, of course, the option of trying to find a spouse online but most of the time you've got to wade through a lot of crazies. I found my husband online (although we had met in person once a couple years before that). Before I found my husband I was discerning marriage with a different Catholic fellow that I met on CathInfo, who was a good Catholic and an excellent man. We just weren't right for each other. There are good Catholics on there if you can find them. Catholic forums aren't a bad place to look. I ran into my fair share of unsavory men with the Catholic Match escapade though. I'm glad that part of my life is over! With the Trad world being so divided, it makes finding a spouse, or helping your children find a spouse, even more difficult. As a Sedevacantists, would one frown upon the match of ones child with someone who wasn't sede? And vice-versa. Do any traditional groups have mix and mingle get togethers for single people? It might be something to consider down the road if such a thing exists. I think for us "non-dogmatic" Sedevacantists, it is also the trouble of a "Centrist" position on the Sedevacantist issue. On the one hand, there are girls in the SSPX are vehemently against Sedevacantism, either because of their families, or because of themselves, maybe a combination of both. On the other hand, there are "dogmatic" Sedevacantists that will require the other party to "pledge" never attend a Una Cum Mass. I have seen that SGG and MHTS refuse anyone who does not pledge against Una Cum Mass to come to their get-together events. For SSPX, I have never even seen any similar events by them. For "non-dogmatic" Sedevacantists, the two major groups are SSPV and CMRI, but neither of them, as far as I know, hold such events. Also, the SSPV position on Thuc-line Priests and Bishops also causes a trouble on this issue. Therefore, at least for me, the only options are those "non-dogmatic" Sedevacantist girls as well as SSPX girls who are not against Sedevacantism. This is not an easy task, as a large-scale event is not held yet.
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Post by William Pius Robert Winslow on Jul 9, 2017 1:04:04 GMT -5
I wish I had some ideas for discussion here, but I don't. Within the next couple years we will be moving about 30 minutes south, which is where most of our close Catholic friends live who also have growing families. I'm hoping our children will marry each other, lol. There is, of course, the option of trying to find a spouse online but most of the time you've got to wade through a lot of crazies. I found my husband online (although we had met in person once a couple years before that). Before I found my husband I was discerning marriage with a different Catholic fellow that I met on CathInfo, who was a good Catholic and an excellent man. We just weren't right for each other. There are good Catholics on there if you can find them. Catholic forums aren't a bad place to look. I ran into my fair share of unsavory men with the Catholic Match escapade though. I'm glad that part of my life is over! With the Trad world being so divided, it makes finding a spouse, or helping your children find a spouse, even more difficult. As a Sedevacantists, would one frown upon the match of ones child with someone who wasn't sede? And vice-versa. Do any traditional groups have mix and mingle get togethers for single people? It might be something to consider down the road if such a thing exists. I find it harder for the girls than the boys. I think the biggest issue among traditionalists is the acceptance or rejection of the new rite of ordination, if you could agree on that one way or another, that is a big point. Secondly, if one is too attached to a group and the group shifts in policy or thinking, it could spell trouble for a marriage. If one spouse recognizes a bad situation and wants to break from it, there's could be trouble if the other one is too invested. I suppose that would assume that most traditionalists know the whole situation is teetering over a ledge. I guess they would probably have to agree on the appropriate place in their lives for any trad priest or group and probably come to an understanding of the nature of authority in this crisis, or if they cannot understand it, at least they could agree upon it. If they were well-matched intellectually, It would probably assist in these issues. I wouldn't necessarily frown on any match, you would probably have to take everything on a case by case basis. I think there are three big troubles: Sedevacantists who are absolutely against Una Cum Mass (SGG, MHTS); Sedevacantists who are absolutely against Thuc-line (SSPV); some SSPX faithfuls who are hardline against Sedevacantist. These three issues cause a great trouble, especially I am a "centrist" (or approve-the-validity-of-every-party) Sedevacantist. Also, may I ask why do you say it is harder for girls than for boys? Just curious, since for me, as a man, I find it already pretty hard for me.
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Post by William Pius Robert Winslow on Jul 9, 2017 1:26:07 GMT -5
I personally think it is better in these days for the majority of traditional Catholics to get married. The reason why is because they will need support in their Faith in the coming days. Many people have tiny families now and almost no siblings, when their Catholic parents die they will be on their own, alone against the world. I would be much more secure knowing they had a good spouse with whom to "work out their salvation." Additionally, who will make decisions at the end of their lives, call a priest, make sure they are buried properly? The answer is pretty much no one unless they have Catholic children. Having a family and a good marriage is a revolt against the spirit of the world. I agree. No Catholic families, then no Catholic children, then no Catholic Priests and Bishops, then no everything. Also, actually, wouldn't it be a great idea to have a sub-forum here or have a website on this issue? From my knowledge, all the sites on this topic are pretty much inactive now, and Trad Circle is pretty much (de facto) for Non Una Cum Sedevacantists.
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Post by Clotilde on Jul 9, 2017 12:46:10 GMT -5
I find it harder for the girls than the boys. I think the biggest issue among traditionalists is the acceptance or rejection of the new rite of ordination, if you could agree on that one way or another, that is a big point. Secondly, if one is too attached to a group and the group shifts in policy or thinking, it could spell trouble for a marriage. If one spouse recognizes a bad situation and wants to break from it, there's could be trouble if the other one is too invested. I suppose that would assume that most traditionalists know the whole situation is teetering over a ledge. I guess they would probably have to agree on the appropriate place in their lives for any trad priest or group and probably come to an understanding of the nature of authority in this crisis, or if they cannot understand it, at least they could agree upon it. If they were well-matched intellectually, It would probably assist in these issues. I wouldn't necessarily frown on any match, you would probably have to take everything on a case by case basis. I think there are three big troubles: Sedevacantists who are absolutely against Una Cum Mass (SGG, MHTS); Sedevacantists who are absolutely against Thuc-line (SSPV); some SSPX faithfuls who are hardline against Sedevacantist. These three issues cause a great trouble, especially I am a "centrist" (or approve-the-validity-of-every-party) Sedevacantist. Also, may I ask why do you say it is harder for girls than for boys? Just curious, since for me, as a man, I find it already pretty hard for me. Finding the right husband is more difficult for ladies in this situation due to the vow of obedience. Without getting into different scenarios that would fall into that category, let's just say that women want to follow their husband's lead. They will even do so regarding truth and morals. Sometimes when there is a difference, this factor comes into play. Other times, they agree just to have a difference of opinion and let the other alone. It gets more difficult when children come along. Most women do not want to be in a marriage where they are at odds with their husband and his authority. I'm not saying that some of these things are not beyond his authority, but sometimes both parties think that everything is a matter of authority and obedience. Who wants to be in a marriage that is in a perpetual state of tension and rebellion, either against morals or against the order God established? It is best for young ladies to find a husband with whom these issues would not come up.
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Post by jen51 on Jul 9, 2017 12:55:41 GMT -5
So true, Clotilde. A serious Catholic woman will be serious about respecting and obeying her husband. This was a huge factor when I was single. IMO, a woman would be better off not to marry at all if she doesn't manage to find someone whom she trusts enough to follow.
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Post by Marya Dabrowski on Jul 9, 2017 14:21:22 GMT -5
For "non-dogmatic" Sedevacantists, the two major groups are SSPV and CMRI, but neither of them, as far as I know, hold such events. Also, the SSPV position on Thuc-line Priests and Bishops also causes a trouble on this issue. Therefore, at least for me, the only options are those "non-dogmatic" Sedevacantist girls as well as SSPX girls who are not against Sedevacantism. This is not an easy task, as a large-scale event is not held yet. Usually the priests of SSPV announce a young-adult get together every year. I've never attended (never needed to) but I think it's a weekend long.
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Post by RitaMarita on Jul 9, 2017 15:33:12 GMT -5
For "non-dogmatic" Sedevacantists, the two major groups are SSPV and CMRI, but neither of them, as far as I know, hold such events. Also, the SSPV position on Thuc-line Priests and Bishops also causes a trouble on this issue. Therefore, at least for me, the only options are those "non-dogmatic" Sedevacantist girls as well as SSPX girls who are not against Sedevacantism. This is not an easy task, as a large-scale event is not held yet. Usually the priests of SSPV announce a young-adult get together every year. I've never attended (never needed to) but I think it's a weekend long. The CMRI do the same thing. I was invited to a singles get together once, but couldn't make it do to previous commitments with work on the farm... Such things are a great idea I think!
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Post by Barbara on Jul 9, 2017 17:44:27 GMT -5
Many excellent contributions here. While it seems ideal to meet one's spouse at Church, or through other Catholics, Almighty God can bring two people together in whatever manner and at whatever stage of life He deems best for the salvation of the spouses.
For those who are looking, keep praying, and keep your eyes, ears, and hearts open. Mr. or Miss Right could sit down next to you in the waiting room at the DMV.
And, all graces come through Mary.
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Post by William Pius Robert Winslow on Jul 9, 2017 22:13:52 GMT -5
Usually the priests of SSPV announce a young-adult get together every year. I've never attended (never needed to) but I think it's a weekend long. The CMRI do the same thing. I was invited to a singles get together once, but couldn't make it do to previous commitments with work on the farm... Such things are a great idea I think! Do you mean the Fatima Conference?
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