Post by chestertonian on Apr 3, 2017 11:23:41 GMT -5
i am forgetting when holy week is or how much of lent we even have left (how long has it been?) but looking at yet another year of not being able to go to a church for any sort of holy week liturgy and getting depressed.
In many ways I am sensory deprived, not just in the area of prayer, but I think my prayer life is sensory deprived if that makes any sense. Iremember all the different liturgies i used to go to, the itchy feeling of the ashes on my forehead, the smell of the incense, the colors of the vestments, the way the light would pass through the stained glass windows and make little fuzzy colorful reflection on the opposite wall.. the echo of the church. the sound of the gregorian chant.
I don't know why but I always found the Asperges very comforting, as well as the vidi aquaam. I remember flinching a bit as a few drdrops of holy water fell upon my face.
on palm sunday, I recall fidgeting in the pew during the many readings making a cross with the palm I received. You know you've done it too, don't lie.
And passiontide and holy week, one thing remember was the covering of all the images with purple cloths. one year my wife even did this at home. I remember holy thursday, with its "ubi caritas" and the washing of the feet, the stripping of the altar, the juxtaposition between the bare front altar and the altar of repose in a side chapel, staying late to visit Our Lord in the altar of repose
and on Good friday I remember the sound of people getting up, and kneeling, and then getting up, and kneeling....the black vestments, the kissing of the cross, that click claker thing (I forget what it was called, but they only bring it out on Good Friday)
I never was able to fast, but I can imagine for those who do, there is that feeling of hunger on Good Friday, and perhaps tiredness
then Easter with its triumphant alleluias, I remember the Easter Vigil with the fire, the lighting of the paschal candle, the blessing of water, the chanting of the vidii aquam, the exultet, all those readings, the exhaustion because it's 3am and you're still up. the smell of the incense (before it started making me cough and choke), the bells and the organ during the first Alleluia,d the taste and the feeling of the Host dissolving on your tongue.
after the mass people would bring their Easter food up to the altar, to be blessed... people would fill these baskets with symbolic foods, bread, butter, wine, eggs, and so on.
when I watch mass streaming over the Internet, I listen to the sermon, but it is so easy to be distracted in my house, especially with people coming in and out. When I was distracted in church, I could look at the stained glass image of Our Lord or Our Lady and it would bring me back. if my mind wandered, it wasn't long before some sensory experience of the Mass would bring me back to prayer. That is why it is designed the way it is--to draw the soul into prayer no matter what direction the mind wanders. Not so when you're watching Mass live from Florida or somewhere in another time zone. it's as if my senses are deadened and it is like my rational self is struggling to unite itself from God without any of the usual sensory aids God gives to normal, healthy people. It really seems as if He has cut me off from His grace and love.
it is hard not to feel as if my prayer life is dulled like my senses... my words no longer rising to God like incense. surely I am not the only Catholic who has ever been cut off from the Mass for years and must live a solitary Catholic life with nothing to cling to, but I have never seen any guides for being away from Mass for so long. not only am I alone but i have to figure out how to deal with it alone, too.
at home, most days are like any other day. Easter is the same as Good friday. i don't know how to make Holy Week seem "real" Easter isnt very festive when you can't feast
i suppose all these earthly things, like the bells, the incense, the meager Lenten portions and the feasts of Easter, the colors of the vestments will all pass away and in Heaven it will all pale in comparison, but I can't imagine that I will ever end up there.
for those who cannot go to mass or participate in a parish how do you mark the liturgical time? is anyone aware of any guides for being "home alone." it isvery hard for me not to come to the conclusion that this is just a sign that God hates me and wants me to go to hell
In many ways I am sensory deprived, not just in the area of prayer, but I think my prayer life is sensory deprived if that makes any sense. Iremember all the different liturgies i used to go to, the itchy feeling of the ashes on my forehead, the smell of the incense, the colors of the vestments, the way the light would pass through the stained glass windows and make little fuzzy colorful reflection on the opposite wall.. the echo of the church. the sound of the gregorian chant.
I don't know why but I always found the Asperges very comforting, as well as the vidi aquaam. I remember flinching a bit as a few drdrops of holy water fell upon my face.
on palm sunday, I recall fidgeting in the pew during the many readings making a cross with the palm I received. You know you've done it too, don't lie.
And passiontide and holy week, one thing remember was the covering of all the images with purple cloths. one year my wife even did this at home. I remember holy thursday, with its "ubi caritas" and the washing of the feet, the stripping of the altar, the juxtaposition between the bare front altar and the altar of repose in a side chapel, staying late to visit Our Lord in the altar of repose
and on Good friday I remember the sound of people getting up, and kneeling, and then getting up, and kneeling....the black vestments, the kissing of the cross, that click claker thing (I forget what it was called, but they only bring it out on Good Friday)
I never was able to fast, but I can imagine for those who do, there is that feeling of hunger on Good Friday, and perhaps tiredness
then Easter with its triumphant alleluias, I remember the Easter Vigil with the fire, the lighting of the paschal candle, the blessing of water, the chanting of the vidii aquam, the exultet, all those readings, the exhaustion because it's 3am and you're still up. the smell of the incense (before it started making me cough and choke), the bells and the organ during the first Alleluia,d the taste and the feeling of the Host dissolving on your tongue.
after the mass people would bring their Easter food up to the altar, to be blessed... people would fill these baskets with symbolic foods, bread, butter, wine, eggs, and so on.
when I watch mass streaming over the Internet, I listen to the sermon, but it is so easy to be distracted in my house, especially with people coming in and out. When I was distracted in church, I could look at the stained glass image of Our Lord or Our Lady and it would bring me back. if my mind wandered, it wasn't long before some sensory experience of the Mass would bring me back to prayer. That is why it is designed the way it is--to draw the soul into prayer no matter what direction the mind wanders. Not so when you're watching Mass live from Florida or somewhere in another time zone. it's as if my senses are deadened and it is like my rational self is struggling to unite itself from God without any of the usual sensory aids God gives to normal, healthy people. It really seems as if He has cut me off from His grace and love.
it is hard not to feel as if my prayer life is dulled like my senses... my words no longer rising to God like incense. surely I am not the only Catholic who has ever been cut off from the Mass for years and must live a solitary Catholic life with nothing to cling to, but I have never seen any guides for being away from Mass for so long. not only am I alone but i have to figure out how to deal with it alone, too.
at home, most days are like any other day. Easter is the same as Good friday. i don't know how to make Holy Week seem "real" Easter isnt very festive when you can't feast
i suppose all these earthly things, like the bells, the incense, the meager Lenten portions and the feasts of Easter, the colors of the vestments will all pass away and in Heaven it will all pale in comparison, but I can't imagine that I will ever end up there.
for those who cannot go to mass or participate in a parish how do you mark the liturgical time? is anyone aware of any guides for being "home alone." it isvery hard for me not to come to the conclusion that this is just a sign that God hates me and wants me to go to hell