Post by Clotilde on Mar 3, 2017 14:40:56 GMT -5
With few exceptions, I hear the surprised complaint, "Why are there no children at traditionalist chapels!?"
I think I have a very unique perspective on the matter and will give my observations:
1. Many traditional chapels are located in areas where it is cost prohibitive for families to live, as a consequence these urban areas have less families and children overall. If you open a chapel in an expensive area, don't expect families.
2. Disordered attitude towards children and their parents is rampant among Catholics.
A. "You are required to have children," a chapel goer reminds a woman upon finding out she is not currently expecting, "but don't bring them here unless they can refrain from doing things that annoy me. Sorry, but you should stay home until they stop disturbing me."
This is probably one of the worst things going on right now in the traditionalist movement. Mothers, who need the sacraments to sanctify them so they can bring up the next generation of Catholics, are being ushered to stay home or sit in the car.
B. "I only see you once a week or less, but your children are awful, let me tell you how to parent." Someone who sits in your proximity for an hour, a few times a month is watching you so closely that they, though childless, have an entire lists of suggestions each week, and they are likely to complain to others about your children, including the priest. I have been on the receiving end of complaints about others. Some have asked me to speak to these mothers and to teach them. I did not oblige, but explained the difficulties of the situation to the complainer. I believe it did help but did not change the overall attitude.
Are families going to make a sacrifice to drive 2-3 hours to a place they are not wanted, to sit in the car, or in a hall and miss Holy Communion? Are they going to make the sacrifice if someone is reaching over the pew and grabbing their child because the little one is quietly squirming?
These families will stop going to mass or they will look for a different chapel. With families, the chapel which is able to accommodate and bear with them will be the one that they will attend, if a choice is possible.
3. Priests sometimes give in to bad attitudes or do not have the correct attitude. Let's face it: priests today don't have access to the fraternal correction and good examples of many fellow priests as they might have had in the past. Too often, chapel politics reach the ear of the priest. He's only human and we are all faulted, but this is a very hard fault to spot. If he finds this fault in himself or among Catholics, he might offer a sermon, a talk, or help set up policies that assist the congregants to have a proper attitude and forebearance for children and their parents.
I believe this attitude is prevalent in the Roman rite at least for the last century, maybe longer. It's a fault that puts silence as the ideal above the need by everyone for the sacraments and to hear the mass. If we look at the East, we see that they have always had children at their Divine Liturgy, given that even infants recieve Holy Communion. We know that from early on, people of all ages attended mass, and that it wasn't until much later that the idea of leaving an infant or child at home came along. Most certainly those in lower classes, who could not afford a nurse or help, would have had to bring their children with them. It is likely that mass was much noisier in the Roman rite earlier on. Somehow we have become accustomed to that silence and it has become more important than the sanctification of souls.
I think I have a very unique perspective on the matter and will give my observations:
1. Many traditional chapels are located in areas where it is cost prohibitive for families to live, as a consequence these urban areas have less families and children overall. If you open a chapel in an expensive area, don't expect families.
2. Disordered attitude towards children and their parents is rampant among Catholics.
A. "You are required to have children," a chapel goer reminds a woman upon finding out she is not currently expecting, "but don't bring them here unless they can refrain from doing things that annoy me. Sorry, but you should stay home until they stop disturbing me."
This is probably one of the worst things going on right now in the traditionalist movement. Mothers, who need the sacraments to sanctify them so they can bring up the next generation of Catholics, are being ushered to stay home or sit in the car.
B. "I only see you once a week or less, but your children are awful, let me tell you how to parent." Someone who sits in your proximity for an hour, a few times a month is watching you so closely that they, though childless, have an entire lists of suggestions each week, and they are likely to complain to others about your children, including the priest. I have been on the receiving end of complaints about others. Some have asked me to speak to these mothers and to teach them. I did not oblige, but explained the difficulties of the situation to the complainer. I believe it did help but did not change the overall attitude.
Are families going to make a sacrifice to drive 2-3 hours to a place they are not wanted, to sit in the car, or in a hall and miss Holy Communion? Are they going to make the sacrifice if someone is reaching over the pew and grabbing their child because the little one is quietly squirming?
These families will stop going to mass or they will look for a different chapel. With families, the chapel which is able to accommodate and bear with them will be the one that they will attend, if a choice is possible.
3. Priests sometimes give in to bad attitudes or do not have the correct attitude. Let's face it: priests today don't have access to the fraternal correction and good examples of many fellow priests as they might have had in the past. Too often, chapel politics reach the ear of the priest. He's only human and we are all faulted, but this is a very hard fault to spot. If he finds this fault in himself or among Catholics, he might offer a sermon, a talk, or help set up policies that assist the congregants to have a proper attitude and forebearance for children and their parents.
I believe this attitude is prevalent in the Roman rite at least for the last century, maybe longer. It's a fault that puts silence as the ideal above the need by everyone for the sacraments and to hear the mass. If we look at the East, we see that they have always had children at their Divine Liturgy, given that even infants recieve Holy Communion. We know that from early on, people of all ages attended mass, and that it wasn't until much later that the idea of leaving an infant or child at home came along. Most certainly those in lower classes, who could not afford a nurse or help, would have had to bring their children with them. It is likely that mass was much noisier in the Roman rite earlier on. Somehow we have become accustomed to that silence and it has become more important than the sanctification of souls.