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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2017 19:24:38 GMT -5
That is so true! You really never know.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2017 19:26:13 GMT -5
Whoops, posted twice!
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Post by jen51 on Feb 17, 2017 20:17:57 GMT -5
It looks as though my opinion on the matter falls in to line with everyone else. I don't think this man would be good for you, Rita. For one, he doesn't seem all that serious about the Faith, and two, he's pushing you to do something that you are not comfortable with. I signed up for Catholic Match as well (got a husband out of it, too!) but had some bad experiences like this. I was always so reserved about skype or any other form of communication like the phone. Literally my stomach would turn when one of them wanted to communicate more than I was comfortable with. Some just wouldn't take no for an answer and I kindly closed communication with them. Most of them weren't pushy like this guy seems to be, though. It was terrible! Lol. But not when I talked to my now husband. I hung on his every word and couldn't wait to talk to him.
I'll be praying for you in regards to finding a holy spouse. You are so wise to not marry at all than to marry foolishly, but my guess is you'll wander into Mr. Right here before too long, and hopefully you'll see it right off. Being trads, it's easy to see how few there are and despair at the odds, but I always looked at it this way: I follow God, who made the world in 6 days, who turned water into wine, who raises up an annhialtes entire armies, who sees us and loves us despite our sins, who walked on water... giving someone a spouse, if it is his will, is not going to be hindered by worldly odds. God bless you, sweet Rita!
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Post by Clotilde on Feb 17, 2017 22:46:07 GMT -5
I am struggling with a tough situation and could use some advice. I would ask my family, but with all of them being novus ordo they would be most likely to just brush it off... So, I thought that I would ask you all since many of you have children and probably have some good counsel for me that you would give to yours... Some of my friends recently convinced me to sign up for Catholic Match... Now, I am the sort of person to be extremely cautious concerning making close acquaintances from over the internet in general, but my friends all talked to me about it separately without knowing the others had and this made me wonder whether maybe God had a reason why I should. So I joined the site after visiting my best childhood friend, who met her husband on there, and them both convincing me that God sometimes likes to use the means around us to accomplish His Will. Anyways... There is a person from this site who has been messaging me, and wants to talk to me over Skype and get to know me better. He says that he converted last year around Easter, and that this was primarily because of the Tridintine/Latin Mass. Yet, it has been a year and he still has never even been to a traditional Mass. He also wants to settle in Tennessee where there is not a really good place to attend Mass. My biggest deal-breaker is the Mass, and I would rather never marry than lose access to the Sacraments. This causes me to have reservations, especially since I know that once I give my heart to someone it is often hard for me to let go. So, I have told him that until he holds a firm opinion about the Mass, and that I agree with him, I am not open to taking any further steps besides simple communication with him. He responded by saying that I am just being stubborn, and wants to talk it all through face to face over the computer. I feel kind of like a jerk, but don't want to get into a situation that I will get wrapped into and regret later on down the road. So, any thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated. Okay, Mom Voice time. First of all, calling you stubborn is wrong. That is an overstep of boundaries. A demand, or even a request after words like that to meet face to face is not indicative of a good potential spouse. I don't think I think is a bad idea to use Catholic Match as some good marriages have come from it. However, being that he has no commitment to any firm position and has not come to a decision could either mean that he never will or could change. It is one thing for a woman to be undecided, but given that you must submit to the will of a husband in many ways, I don't see how it is possible to have a relationship with a man who is on the fence when you have a firm grounding in your position. Naturally, if the situation is reversed the wife normally follows the lead of the husband. In many ways, I think TN would be a bad place to raise a Catholic family. Although I do know a few Eastern rite people there who are exemplary. The economic situation is concerning but given that there are so few Catholics and no remains of a former Catholic culture, it is risky business. I do not generally advise to move for a mass center or a chapel because they can fall apart and one has a great deal of flexibility over this beforehand marriage. You are wise to consider it. (Example, I may have difficulties where I live but I can go to a local cemetery and pray the Stations outside, those remnants are not easily found in Prottyland) Last of all, I know this sounds cheesy, but you know when you meet the right person. You just know. It's like your angel is pushing you along; every obstacle and doubt become easy because you are aligning yourself with God's Will for your life. You are a talented, feminine lady and if you make an effort, pray, you will find someone better.
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Caillin
Approved Cath Resource contributor
Posts: 136
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Post by Caillin on Feb 18, 2017 3:34:01 GMT -5
Everyone’s advice here is spot-on. I’ll just add that you are right to be very cautious of the attachment factor. For many, if the attachment doesn’t blind them to reasons they need to break away, actually doing so once it's formed is like defying gravity.
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Post by RitaMarita on Feb 18, 2017 7:54:42 GMT -5
I have done this before too!
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Post by RitaMarita on Feb 18, 2017 8:02:25 GMT -5
It looks as though my opinion on the matter falls in to line with everyone else. I don't think this man would be good for you, Rita. For one, he doesn't seem all that serious about the Faith, and two, he's pushing you to do something that you are not comfortable with. I signed up for Catholic Match as well (got a husband out of it, too!) but had some bad experiences like this. I was always so reserved about skype or any other form of communication like the phone. Literally my stomach would turn when one of them wanted to communicate more than I was comfortable with. Some just wouldn't take no for an answer and I kindly closed communication with them. Most of them weren't pushy like this guy seems to be, though. It was terrible! Lol. But not when I talked to my now husband. I hung on his every word and couldn't wait to talk to him. I'll be praying for you in regards to finding a holy spouse. You are so wise to not marry at all than to marry foolishly, but my guess is you'll wander into Mr. Right here before too long, and hopefully you'll see it right off. Being trads, it's easy to see how few there are and despair at the odds, but I always looked at it this way: I follow God, who made the world in 6 days, who turned water into wine, who raises up an annhialtes entire armies, who sees us and loves us despite our sins, who walked on water... giving someone a spouse, if it is his will, is not going to be hindered by worldly odds. God bless you, sweet Rita! Thanks, Jen! I am completely open to God's will whether He wants me to marry or not. It is all in His Hands. I never would have joined Catholic Match on my own accord, and just pray that maybe I may at least help someone there open their eyes to the True Faith if nothing else. Thanks for the prayers! I really appreciate it!
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Post by RitaMarita on Feb 18, 2017 8:06:44 GMT -5
I am struggling with a tough situation and could use some advice. I would ask my family, but with all of them being novus ordo they would be most likely to just brush it off... So, I thought that I would ask you all since many of you have children and probably have some good counsel for me that you would give to yours... Some of my friends recently convinced me to sign up for Catholic Match... Now, I am the sort of person to be extremely cautious concerning making close acquaintances from over the internet in general, but my friends all talked to me about it separately without knowing the others had and this made me wonder whether maybe God had a reason why I should. So I joined the site after visiting my best childhood friend, who met her husband on there, and them both convincing me that God sometimes likes to use the means around us to accomplish His Will. Anyways... There is a person from this site who has been messaging me, and wants to talk to me over Skype and get to know me better. He says that he converted last year around Easter, and that this was primarily because of the Tridintine/Latin Mass. Yet, it has been a year and he still has never even been to a traditional Mass. He also wants to settle in Tennessee where there is not a really good place to attend Mass. My biggest deal-breaker is the Mass, and I would rather never marry than lose access to the Sacraments. This causes me to have reservations, especially since I know that once I give my heart to someone it is often hard for me to let go. So, I have told him that until he holds a firm opinion about the Mass, and that I agree with him, I am not open to taking any further steps besides simple communication with him. He responded by saying that I am just being stubborn, and wants to talk it all through face to face over the computer. I feel kind of like a jerk, but don't want to get into a situation that I will get wrapped into and regret later on down the road. So, any thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated. Okay, Mom Voice time. First of all, calling you stubborn is wrong. That is an overstep of boundaries. A demand, or even a request after words like that to meet face to face is not indicative of a good potential spouse. I don't think I think is a bad idea to use Catholic Match as some good marriages have come from it. However, being that he has no commitment to any firm position and has not come to a decision could either mean that he never will or could change. It is one thing for a woman to be undecided, but given that you must submit to the will of a husband in many ways, I don't see how it is possible to have a relationship with a man who is on the fence when you have a firm grounding in your position. Naturally, if the situation is reversed the wife normally follows the lead of the husband. In many ways, I think TN would be a bad place to raise a Catholic family. Although I do know a few Eastern rite people there who are exemplary. The economic situation is concerning but given that there are so few Catholics and no remains of a former Catholic culture, it is risky business. I do not generally advise to move for a mass center or a chapel because they can fall apart and one has a great deal of flexibility over this beforehand marriage. You are wise to consider it. (Example, I may have difficulties where I live but I can go to a local cemetery and pray the Stations outside, those remnants are not easily found in Prottyland) Last of all, I know this sounds cheesy, but you know when you meet the right person. You just know. It's like your angel is pushing you along; every obstacle and doubt become easy because you are aligning yourself with God's Will for your life. You are a talented, feminine lady and if you make an effort, pray, you will find someone better. Thank you, Erica, for all your support and advice! You have made some very good points! I did tell the man off last night, in the most courteous manner possible. He was a little verbally abusive about me doing so. But, that just confirms all the suspicions I had. I am so grateful to have all of you all here to help back me up! Thank you!!!
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Post by RitaMarita on Feb 18, 2017 8:07:42 GMT -5
Everyone’s advice here is spot-on. I’ll just add that you are right to be very cautious of the attachment factor. For many, if the attachment doesn’t blind them to reasons they need to break away, actually doing so once it's formed is like defying gravity. Thanks, Caillin! I am glad to have your support! I like the way you explained it with the "defying gravity." God bless! Rita
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Post by Voxxkowalski on Feb 18, 2017 14:02:50 GMT -5
Hey how about my Son Shawn? Hes about to graduate with a quality engineering degree Age 23
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Post by RitaMarita on Feb 18, 2017 19:55:49 GMT -5
Hey how about my Son Shawn? Hes about to graduate with a quality engineering degree Age 23 Well, I just turned 25, but am open to whatever the will of God might be...
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Post by Voxxkowalski on Feb 19, 2017 7:46:43 GMT -5
Hey how about my Son Shawn? Hes about to graduate with a quality engineering degree Age 23 Well, I just turned 25, but am open to whatever the will of God might be... I spoke to him and whats funny is hes actually turning 25 in June...you see Im Dad...I never kept good track of birthdays...lol
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Post by RitaMarita on Feb 19, 2017 18:22:11 GMT -5
Well, I just turned 25, but am open to whatever the will of God might be... I spoke to him and whats funny is hes actually turning 25 in June...you see Im Dad...I never kept good track of birthdays...lol Lol... That IS funny! I will send you a private message in a bit.
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Post by Voxxkowalski on Feb 19, 2017 19:35:39 GMT -5
I spoke to him and whats funny is hes actually turning 25 in June...you see Im Dad...I never kept good track of birthdays...lol Lol... That IS funny! I will send you a private message in a bit. What is funny I misheard my wife he is going to be 24 after all...but whats 12 mos?
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Post by RitaMarita on Feb 19, 2017 22:00:33 GMT -5
Lol... That IS funny! I will send you a private message in a bit. What is funny I misheard my wife he is going to be 24 after all...but whats 12 mos? Hahaha! Even funnier, Voxx... You do make me laugh!
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