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Post by Lynne on Jul 14, 2017 12:50:55 GMT -5
I belong to a group on Facebook for Singer Featherweight sewing machines. Singer made them from 1935(?) to about 1960(?). They are wonderful work horses if all you need is a straight stitch. So, why would you need more than one? I could understand having a backup, but 4 or 5 or more of them? Materialism is rampant. LOL, women love their sewing machines. I've been known some who take out LOANS to buy sewing machines. I'm cheap. I refuse to pay thousands for a sewing machine. Although I did pay thousands for a longarm quilting machine but I ran a machine quilting business out of my home for a few years.
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Post by jen51 on Jul 14, 2017 13:10:02 GMT -5
Munda, that's a good idea, your husband taking over one evening per week. I think my husband would be very happy to do that during certain seasons, depending on his workload at the time.
My husband has been great with helping out if he sees that I am having a hard time at the moment. Lately he has been clearing the table after meals, which might not seem big, but it is a huge help. He brings the hamper of laundry downstairs for me when it gets full, and the other night he joined me in my laundry folding party even though I told him he should go relax before going back to work. Before kids I was mortified at the thought of my husband doing any sort of housework, and wouldn't accept the help when he offered, but now I do... usually. There are times when I step in to help with his duties if he is working very long days and doesn't have time- things like mowing the yard and taking care of the animals outside.
As far as "stuff" goes, I'm kind of minimalist, and he tends to collect or hold on to everything. We've met in the middle on that one by me not griping about his stuff, and him considerably downsizing his stuff.
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Post by jen51 on Jul 14, 2017 13:15:40 GMT -5
LOL, women love their sewing machines. I've been known some who take out LOANS to buy sewing machines. I'm cheap. I refuse to pay thousands for a sewing machine. Although I did pay thousands for a longarm quilting machine but I ran a machine quilting business out of my home for a few years. Neat!! I so wish I could get excited about quilting. I love quilts. My home is full of quilted blankets and other quilted items, most of them made by my mother. I have 3 sewing machines. My mothers first machine (which is currently out of order), my singer that I got on sale for $200, and a serger. None of them are real fancy, but I don't think I would use most of the new fancy options on machines even if I had them.
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Post by mundacormeum on Jul 14, 2017 15:29:32 GMT -5
Munda, that's a good idea, your husband taking over one evening per week. I think my husband would be very happy to do that during certain seasons, depending on his workload at the time. My husband has been great with helping out if he sees that I am having a hard time at the moment. Lately he has been clearing the table after meals, which might not seem big, but it is a huge help. He brings the hamper of laundry downstairs for me when it gets full, and the other night he joined me in my laundry folding party even though I told him he should go relax before going back to work. Before kids I was mortified at the thought of my husband doing any sort of housework, and wouldn't accept the help when he offered, but now I do... usually. There are times when I step in to help with his duties if he is working very long days and doesn't have time- things like mowing the yard and taking care of the animals outside. As far as "stuff" goes, I'm kind of minimalist, and he tends to collect or hold on to everything. We've met in the middle on that one by me not griping about his stuff, and him considerably downsizing his stuff. Before I give my 2 cents, please know that this is what I think, based on my own understanding of marriage and family. Take what I say with a healthy dose of salt, and anyone please correct me if I'm off base or wandering far from authentic Church teaching..... You should definitely let him help you. Ultimately, the responsibility of making sure ALL the duties of running a family and home falls to him, being that he is the head of the household. He can either take the task on himself, or delegate to the wife. There are many different aspects that go into home management, applied to work that happens both inside the home and out. And the head of the household gets final say as to what is absolutely necessary vs. those things that are preferable, but optional; and things that are ok to not worry about on a regular basis, and just tend to whenever time allows. Of course, a good leader will consult not only The Faith, but also his second in command (the wife), and take into account the various needs and opinions of those under his care, in order to make decisions that are best for the family as a whole. Many decisions will be delegated to the wife. I make most of the decisions about the daily running of the home, because I'm here most often, and it would be tedious for me to have to bother him with every little thing. Micromanaging would not be in anyone's best interest. Though, we do discuss things a lot, and if I'm struggling with something, I ask him for advice on how to make things work better. As wives, our duty is to be a helpmate, so the stuff that we do is what is delegated to us by our husbands. Most of the daily running of the home, domestic type tasks (cleaning, scheduling appointments and activities, hospitality, caring and tending to children, cooking, decorating, generally making the home warm and inviting, and so on) tends to be delegated to the wife, because that is where our talents as women lie. But, if for any reason, the wife cannot take care of a particular respnsibility (illness, pregnancy, new baby, exhaustion, even flat out refusal - sinful though that last reason may be), then the husband is responsible for making sure it gets done; or, if it's not a serious responsibility, he can decide to let it go until the wife can pick it back up again. Or, if the husband chooses to take on various responsibilities when he is home, instead of delegating it to his wife, and the wife refuses to let him do that; she is, in a way, undermining his authority and preventing him from fulfilling his duty before God.
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Post by jen51 on Jul 14, 2017 19:52:53 GMT -5
Good post, Munda. I heartily agree. My husband has explained it to me almost exactly as you have.
His offer to help was more along the lines of "Will me helping you make you happy? I hate seeing you stressed." Not, "The house is bad, I need to step in." After the second was born, during post partum/recovery from surgery, he did step in. There was no asking.
I did not grow up in a house where there was a lot of order. I had not the slightest clue on how to run a family home, so there was a huge learning curve for me. My husband grew up in a much more disorderly house than I, so to him the house usually seems more than acceptable.
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Post by micah1199 on Jul 15, 2017 6:24:30 GMT -5
I think in large Catholic neighborhoods of the past. The older women would help and teach the younger women good ideas. Sadly, that is all gone and each person seems to have a giant learning curve. ,
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Post by Jayne on Jul 15, 2017 8:04:16 GMT -5
I think in large Catholic neighborhoods of the past. The older women would help and teach the younger women good ideas. Sadly, that is all gone and each person seems to have a giant learning curve. , As an older woman, I realize that I ought to be helping and teaching younger women, but in most areas I am still figuring it out myself. The younger women here seem to be ahead of me in many ways. I grew up absorbing a horrible attitude toward housekeeping and that held me back for decades. What a destructive and evil force feminism is, even considering this aspect alone.
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Post by mundacormeum on Jul 15, 2017 10:06:46 GMT -5
Good post, Munda. I heartily agree. My husband has explained it to me almost exactly as you have. His offer to help was more along the lines of "Will me helping you make you happy? I hate seeing you stressed." Not, "The house is bad, I need to step in." After the second was born, during post partum/recovery from surgery, he did step in. There was no asking. I did not grow up in a house where there was a lot of order. I had not the slightest clue on how to run a family home, so there was a huge learning curve for me. My husband grew up in a much more disorderly house than I, so to him the house usually seems more than acceptable. I grew up in a broken home, so knew/know next to nothing about running a home well. I am constantly learning as I go, which is tricky, as parenting is an ever-changing gig. Luckily, my mother and older sister taught me to cook well. My mother, despite our very difficult situation I was raised in, and though she had to work outside the home, was nothing but committed to her family and is the most patient women I think I've ever met. So, I wasn't at a total loss . Although, patience is not my strong point, but I'm working on it! My husband came from a loving home, and his parents are still married. They are a wonderful example for us, and thankfully are like-minded in the faith. They are always encouraging us to keep our hands to the plow, and affirming us that we are doing a good job (I hope they are right!). If only we lived closer.....such is life. So, because my husband has more experience with what a "normal" family home should look like, he is a good resource for me . But, we didn't come to tradition until after our third child was born, and his parents started recognizing the problems in the NO about a year or so before us. Neither of us was raised as traditional Catholics, so that is yet another thing we are learning as we go. And, yeah, when I'm obviously overwhelmed and stressed, my husband will have me stop and take a breather, then have me list everything I'm stressing over. Then, he will say something like, "ok, kids and I will tackle x, y, and z. A and B don't need to be done now. Save that for when you aren't so frustrated. Just focus on this and that for now. When it's all done, we'll go relax on the patio and watch the kids play. It's going to be ok...don't worry". I'm glad he's in charge, and not me! I mostly run around like a chicken with my head cut off 😂
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