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Post by Barbara on Jul 12, 2017 17:11:36 GMT -5
Clotilde beat me to it, in delineating all the ways in which today's mothers are operating in a totally different environment than in the past. Most of us have to go back just one generation and look at the way our mothers raised us, to see how much has changed.
You Catholic moms are my heroes. My prayer is someday to live close to a family like yours to where I could support myself and offer my free time to be a mother's helper, with cleaning, errands, or tutoring.
Most Catholic families cannot afford outside help, yet there are some that can, at least occasionally. Anyone who can afford to pay someone should do so with no feelings of guilt. It's possible that some women whom you assume are doing everything themselves, have assistance of which you are unaware. It's nobody's business, really.
Sometimes we underestimate the stain we are under living in this godless, anti-family culture. Recently I joined a large family for brunch in a restaurant and heard first-hand how nasty people can be. Some woman whispered loudly as we passed by, "They can't all be from the same family." You ladies are carrying a daily cross in union with Our Lord, and Our Lady of Sorrows. What a crown awaits you in heaven!
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Post by micah1199 on Jul 13, 2017 10:24:53 GMT -5
You ladies are doing a great job. Keep in mind the 3rd sorrowful mystery and absolute contempt of the world and world-lings. Their opinions mean absolutely zero. They hated Our Lord and will hate you. On the day of judgment, it will be your great consolation and joy.
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Post by Damaged Goods on Jul 13, 2017 17:32:34 GMT -5
Right now I feel like my days are a whole sequence of messes, mishaps and juggling acts. This except I'm a bachelor with plenty of time on his hands.
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Post by Clotilde on Jul 13, 2017 17:40:06 GMT -5
Right now I feel like my days are a whole sequence of messes, mishaps and juggling acts. This except I'm a bachelor with plenty of time on his hands. Do you want us to find you a wife?
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Post by mundacormeum on Jul 13, 2017 17:59:45 GMT -5
One thing I would suggest that isn't directly under housekeeping, but can certainly aid your efforts is for your husband to give you a night off, if possible. Somewhere between child 5 and 6, I requested to my husband that he give me a night off once a week, if his schedule allowed for it. He decided it would be beneficial for the whole family if I got that kind of a break, and we now do this as often as possible. It has helped so much. He comes home a little early from work, and then I am free to go in my room and have the evening to myself. He tends to kids and dinner for me. Often, I just relax and knit or quilt while watching a movie. But, occasionally I run errands alone, go out to eat, or work on a project of some sort. It just gives me time to breathe and regroup, and recharge a little before I hit the ground running again the next day. If you can at all make this happen, it's worth it. The 8 month old only comes with me to nurse. Some nights, I opt to take my night off with everyone, but he still cooks and kids clean, so I still get a much needed break. Or, we will opt for an at home date night. Those are nice, too.
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Post by Lynne on Jul 13, 2017 18:26:58 GMT -5
One thing I would suggest that isn't directly under housekeeping, but can certainly aid your efforts is for your husband to give you a night off, if possible. Somewhere between child 5 and 6, I requested to my husband that he give me a night off once a week, if his schedule allowed for it. He decided it would be beneficial for the whole family if I got that kind of a break, and we now do this as often as possible. It has helped so much. He comes home a little early from work, and then I am free to go in my room and have the evening to myself. He tends to kids and dinner for me. Often, I just relax and knit or quilt while watching a movie. But, occasionally I run errands alone, go out to eat, or work on a project of some sort. It just gives me time to breathe and regroup, and recharge a little before I hit the ground running again the next day. If you can at all make this happen, it's worth it. The 8 month old only comes with me to nurse. Some nights, I opt to take my night off with everyone, but he still cooks and kids clean, so I still get a much needed break. Or, we will opt for an at home date night. Those are nice, too. That's wonderful!
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Post by mundacormeum on Jul 13, 2017 18:32:36 GMT -5
It is wonderful! Ive even done a "girls night" with my girls, and we go eat then spend the evening browsing the craft store. They love it, and so do I! I should start having my boys take me out occasionally, to give them practice on how to act in public with ladies 😂
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Post by Clotilde on Jul 14, 2017 1:18:22 GMT -5
One thing I would suggest that isn't directly under housekeeping, but can certainly aid your efforts is for your husband to give you a night off, if possible. Somewhere between child 5 and 6, I requested to my husband that he give me a night off once a week, if his schedule allowed for it. He decided it would be beneficial for the whole family if I got that kind of a break, and we now do this as often as possible. It has helped so much. He comes home a little early from work, and then I am free to go in my room and have the evening to myself. He tends to kids and dinner for me. Often, I just relax and knit or quilt while watching a movie. But, occasionally I run errands alone, go out to eat, or work on a project of some sort. It just gives me time to breathe and regroup, and recharge a little before I hit the ground running again the next day. If you can at all make this happen, it's worth it. The 8 month old only comes with me to nurse. Some nights, I opt to take my night off with everyone, but he still cooks and kids clean, so I still get a much needed break. Or, we will opt for an at home date night. Those are nice, too. My husband is awesome about pitching in. I never ask. Recently, I have started to do things on my own (I take a cooking class with a local chef). I might get stressed out about other things but I've noticed that I've had more patience. I think that I just thought I could neglect myself before I had five kids. I've also learned that mothers need to hear encouraging things and many are very lonely this day and age, so I've been keeping that in mind when I talk to them. My outlook has really changed a lot recently.
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Post by Lynne on Jul 14, 2017 6:38:43 GMT -5
I'll pray for all of you mothers with little ones in the house...wait, mine is 25 and still in the house but she's very good about limiting her messes just to her room. Oh and my house is still a mess so I've got no one to blame but myself (and my husband). Thankyou, Lynne! My house was definitely not a prize winner before children, either. I think the difference now is that it gets out of control so fast. Before I could spend 1/2 a day cleaning and be good to go for a couple weeks. I think part of the problem too is that the house has more "stuff" so one has more clutter to deal with, in addition to the "dirt" that one has to clean.
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Post by micah1199 on Jul 14, 2017 7:19:58 GMT -5
You are correct about stuff. People didn't have as much manufactured junk 60 years ago.
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Post by mundacormeum on Jul 14, 2017 8:19:02 GMT -5
One thing I would suggest that isn't directly under housekeeping, but can certainly aid your efforts is for your husband to give you a night off, if possible. Somewhere between child 5 and 6, I requested to my husband that he give me a night off once a week, if his schedule allowed for it. He decided it would be beneficial for the whole family if I got that kind of a break, and we now do this as often as possible. It has helped so much. He comes home a little early from work, and then I am free to go in my room and have the evening to myself. He tends to kids and dinner for me. Often, I just relax and knit or quilt while watching a movie. But, occasionally I run errands alone, go out to eat, or work on a project of some sort. It just gives me time to breathe and regroup, and recharge a little before I hit the ground running again the next day. If you can at all make this happen, it's worth it. The 8 month old only comes with me to nurse. Some nights, I opt to take my night off with everyone, but he still cooks and kids clean, so I still get a much needed break. Or, we will opt for an at home date night. Those are nice, too. My husband is awesome about pitching in. I never ask. Recently, I have started to do things on my own (I take a cooking class with a local chef). I might get stressed out about other things but I've noticed that I've had more patience. I think that I just thought I could neglect myself before I had five kids. I've also learned that mothers need to hear encouraging things and many are very lonely this day and age, so I've been keeping that in mind when I talk to them. My outlook has really changed a lot recently. Mine has always helped out with the normal, day to day family stuff without me having to ask, as well. He's a wonderful husband. But, for me to just completely check out for the evening - either at home in my room or to run errands - I felt would've been inconsiderate to just do without checking with him first. "Oh good your home. I'll be in my room. Please don't disturb me, and make sure the kids have dinner, and bring me a plate when it's cooked. Be sure to clean up and put kids to bed after. Okthanksbye." Pretty sure that wouldn't have gone over too well 😉 So, we discussed it and figured out what would work best for both of us. Same thing if I want to go somewhere and not bring the kids. I rarely just tell him; I ask if it's ok. He almost always says yes; he doesn't mind at all that I do things by myself. It makes him happy to see me enjoy myself. But, sometimes he might not be available to watch the kids; or, he might rather me stay home if we've been too busy to spend a lot of time together. Even grocery shopping, which is a standard Saturday activity, I check with him first to see what his plans are for the day, and when is the best time for me to go. Sometimes, he will offer to go for me, or we will go together and go out to lunch first. It just depends. Having children always changes one's outlook, especially as you acquire more of them And, that cooking class sounds fun! I've always wanted to do that.
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Post by Lynne on Jul 14, 2017 9:14:43 GMT -5
You are correct about stuff. People didn't have as much manufactured junk 60 years ago. I belong to a group on Facebook for Singer Featherweight sewing machines. Singer made them from 1935(?) to about 1960(?). They are wonderful work horses if all you need is a straight stitch. So, why would you need more than one? I could understand having a backup, but 4 or 5 or more of them? Materialism is rampant.
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Post by Clotilde on Jul 14, 2017 11:55:06 GMT -5
Thankyou, Lynne! My house was definitely not a prize winner before children, either. I think the difference now is that it gets out of control so fast. Before I could spend 1/2 a day cleaning and be good to go for a couple weeks. I think part of the problem too is that the house has more "stuff" so one has more clutter to deal with, in addition to the "dirt" that one has to clean. Very true. However, when you have a family sometimes you hang onto stuff because you don't want to buy it again, or it is something that helps save money. In some ways, only those who are very wealthy can afford to dispose of things.
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Post by Clotilde on Jul 14, 2017 11:57:07 GMT -5
You are correct about stuff. People didn't have as much manufactured junk 60 years ago. I belong to a group on Facebook for Singer Featherweight sewing machines. Singer made them from 1935(?) to about 1960(?). They are wonderful work horses if all you need is a straight stitch. So, why would you need more than one? I could understand having a backup, but 4 or 5 or more of them? Materialism is rampant. LOL, women love their sewing machines. I've been known some who take out LOANS to buy sewing machines.
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Post by mundacormeum on Jul 14, 2017 12:08:30 GMT -5
I think part of the problem too is that the house has more "stuff" so one has more clutter to deal with, in addition to the "dirt" that one has to clean. Very true. However, when you have a family sometimes you hang onto stuff because you don't want to buy it again, or it is something that helps save money. In some ways, only those who are very wealthy can afford to dispose of things. I agree with both of you. Collectively, people just have more stuff, which is not necessarily a good thing. On the other, with lots of people in a home, even just basics adds up quickly. 7 kids, 3 pairs of shoes each (church shoes, tennis shoes, and a pair of flip flops for summer) is 21 pairs! We live in the country, so they have rubber boots, too. Don't even get me started on clothes. It escalated quickly.
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