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Post by quoprimum18 on Dec 31, 2017 2:26:41 GMT -5
Pax tecum, folks!
I’m a soon-to-be 36 year-old living in a 55+ condo complex w/ my Mother. Therein lies at least part of my dilemma. I lack the financial or even life-skills wherewithal to live away—the reasons for that mess don’t need exploring at this juncture, I don’t believe. It’s mostly her gas money & always her vehicles that I need to get anywhere. So as a result, I’m often extremely frustrated by the fact that she rarely if ever consents to my attendance at a True Mass—even though there is one fairly close to us. Just today, for example, I was forced due to winter weather and an oncoming illness to attend with her the so-called Vigil Mass at the Novus place she often frequents. Worst 60 minutes I ever experienced!!
Add to that my long and deep involvement in what I was brought up to believe was the Catholic Church to the point where I joined the Knights of Columbus and my Novus Ordo “Parish’s” music ministry and the nature of my existential crisis becomes clear. I was raised on a lie!! Now that I know the Truth, it seems as though I have to abandon anyone who has ever loved me in my own family and local “Parish” just to bee a true Roman Catholic!
I’m going crazy here, people. All I want is to get me and those I love to Heaven. That’s what true Catholics are here for, right?
What am I to do??? I thought I could just break away quickly, but it seems impossible to do it that way.
Advice desperately needed. The proverbial end of my rope is fast approaching.
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Post by Jayne on Dec 31, 2017 6:20:44 GMT -5
Welcome, quoprimum. It sounds really hard to balance your duty to your mother with your duty to God, since they are both very important. I can relate to the feelings you are describing. I hope that being able to discuss things here and the support of our prayers will give you some relief.
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Post by Voxxkowalski on Dec 31, 2017 7:19:31 GMT -5
First. Be still and calm your heart. Your first step isnt jumping off abandoning mom and finding a trad chapel. Your first step is sincere prayer. Begin by finding true and practical prayers and individual practices you can do at home. The Rosary. Scripture reading (Psalms). If you can try to find a very old priest who will hear confessions. Other wise till then examine your conscience sincerely repent and make it your intention before God to confess them to a valid priest. Your first duty before God is to save your own soul by following Christ with your best efforts. Do this faithfully and God will open up a way to you to get to a true mass. Dont forget to look into a Ukrainian or Byzantine Eastern Divine liturgy (catholic NOT orthoduck). Again be still...be patient...care for your Mom...be dutiful...dont panic. God has blessed you already to open your eyes. Welcome to the best trad forum to get simple kind opinions and community. And God bless you with peace. Welcome!
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Post by Voxxkowalski on Dec 31, 2017 7:24:59 GMT -5
BTW if the Traditioal Mass is close...try reaching out to the Priest there. Is the Traditional Mass sspx...indult...or other?
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Post by Clotilde on Dec 31, 2017 14:38:26 GMT -5
Hey, welcome.
I agree with Vox, take your time, pray, think about the best possible way to make the changes you want to make, and make them in such a way that you do not scandalize your mother in your new found zeal. Talking from major experience here.
Secondly, make a list of all options that are potentially do-able for you. Check out Eastern Catholic Churches, find out about any independent Catholic chapels and who ordained the priest (save yourself a headache in the future by doing your research first), and for other chapels, do an evaluation as to whether it would be a situation where you could bring your mother. Not all Latin mass situations are the same.
I think if you were to find one that would be mutually agreeable, you might get your mother to willingly attend if you were involved. Say you agree to help set up for a fundraiser, or you are going to a special event, I would think she would be happy to see you involving yourself in something active and would be more inclined to go with you. The best part is that you wouldn't have to address the underlying issues head on, you can let God's Grace do the job.
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Post by Marya Dabrowski on Dec 31, 2017 14:46:00 GMT -5
Living with your mother you have the chance to imitate Our Lord, who lived with his mother the majority of His life. Be helpful, obedient, holy and industrious. Prayer works and eventually your mom may see things your way.
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Post by RitaMarita on Dec 31, 2017 16:10:00 GMT -5
I have know people to get rides to Mass from other traditional Catholics in the area. Maybe look up the closest good chapel and talk to the priest there and see if he knows anyone who lives near you? I have an hour drive to Mass and often given women rides to Mass who live near me or on my way to Mass.
That being said... Welcome to the forum! We are here for you if you have any questions or need any comfort or support!
Hang in there and trust God to help work things out for you! Never does a hair fall from our head without His consent, and He gives all that is necessary to those who trust in Him completely!
Keep fighting the good fight and may God bless you!
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Post by quoprimum18 on Dec 31, 2017 20:00:31 GMT -5
Ok--so here's the local picture re the True Mass:
-The Parish in which I was raised, while officially mainline Novus, has been known to celebrate the 1962 TLM during the Benedict papacy in the period following Summorum Pontificum--I've assisted w/ the local KofC Council at most of those, infrequent as they presently are. The Pastor here has a doctorate in Sacred Theology and is by no means a modernist--he even went so far a couple of years back as to strongly encourage Communion to be received kneeling on the tongue, which I do whenever I find myself there and I'm not singing in choir. Not only that, but he recently ordered the restoration of the Church's original communion rail that dates back to at least the edifice's dedication in 1961. Perpetual Adoration was instituted back in October and has received an enthusiastic response--not something you'd expect from a place that's been moored in the Paul VI missal for most of its history. An antiphonal organ we purchased from a closed Congregational church will soon be installed; it's been said by all involved in this venture that once that's done, many more TLM's can be said. Our choir director is as traditional as they come--she's a PhD-holder and can't stand gushy modernist religious music. Make of the preceding what you will, but at least things are somewhat looking up there.
-A parish 20-30 minutes to the southwest of me celebrates all Masses ad orientem and mostly in Latin--although 1962 TLM is the unquestioned centerpiece of their liturgical "programs"--it's celebrated at least 3x a week, either High or Low Mass, depending on the day. Missale Romanum 2002 is mostly said on Sundays with a heavy emphasis on Gregorian chant & polyphony. Weekdays I can't speak to, as I can never get there w/ work schedules. I suppose the only downside here is that they're Una Cum in terms of their relationship to Rome.
-SSPX has two facilities that I know of in my state--a retreat center and a Parish-type building.
-1962 TLM also said weekly on Sunday afternoons w/ Schola in a major city where I went to college. Founded in the early 90's under the JPII indult. Been there a couple of times--have some of the Schola's recordings.
-There's a sede vacante Parish far to the northwest of me that I once earlier this year was thinking of joining. They've been around since 1971. But due to falling membership in the music ministry at my home Parish (see first item in post), I was persuaded to stay at least another choir season--my voice, I'm told, is much valued.
-Closest FSSP to me is in New Hampshire--certainly not a option for someone in southwestern CT to go to every week!
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Post by RitaMarita on Jan 3, 2018 12:58:10 GMT -5
Ok--so here's the local picture re the True Mass: -The Parish in which I was raised, while officially mainline Novus, has been known to celebrate the 1962 TLM during the Benedict papacy in the period following Summorum Pontificum--I've assisted w/ the local KofC Council at most of those, infrequent as they presently are. The Pastor here has a doctorate in Sacred Theology and is by no means a modernist--he even went so far a couple of years back as to strongly encourage Communion to be received kneeling on the tongue, which I do whenever I find myself there and I'm not singing in choir. Not only that, but he recently ordered the restoration of the Church's original communion rail that dates back to at least the edifice's dedication in 1961. Perpetual Adoration was instituted back in October and has received an enthusiastic response--not something you'd expect from a place that's been moored in the Paul VI missal for most of its history. An antiphonal organ we purchased from a closed Congregational church will soon be installed; it's been said by all involved in this venture that once that's done, many more TLM's can be said. Our choir director is as traditional as they come--she's a PhD-holder and can't stand gushy modernist religious music. Make of the preceding what you will, but at least things are somewhat looking up there. -A parish 20-30 minutes to the southwest of me celebrates all Masses ad orientem and mostly in Latin--although 1962 TLM is the unquestioned centerpiece of their liturgical "programs"--it's celebrated at least 3x a week, either High or Low Mass, depending on the day. Missale Romanum 2002 is mostly said on Sundays with a heavy emphasis on Gregorian chant & polyphony. Weekdays I can't speak to, as I can never get there w/ work schedules. I suppose the only downside here is that they're Una Cum in terms of their relationship to Rome. -SSPX has two facilities that I know of in my state--a retreat center and a Parish-type building. -1962 TLM also said weekly on Sunday afternoons w/ Schola in a major city where I went to college. Founded in the early 90's under the JPII indult. Been there a couple of times--have some of the Schola's recordings. -There's a sede vacante Parish far to the northwest of me that I once earlier this year was thinking of joining. They've been around since 1971. But due to falling membership in the music ministry at my home Parish (see first item in post), I was persuaded to stay at least another choir season--my voice, I'm told, is much valued. -Closest FSSP to me is in New Hampshire--certainly not a option for someone in southwestern CT to go to every week! Sounds like you have a lot to consider when deciding your next move. Keep your heart open to the truth and be open to God's will and He will move you to do what is best! You shall be in my prayers!
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