Post by Vanna on May 4, 2016 13:06:26 GMT -5
I would like to share my story with the board. It's not pretty. I want people who come here to see that you can start from anywhere, from any upbringing, and still come to the true faith within the Catholic Church.
I was born into an agnostic family. There was mom (raised Protestant, not sure which denomination... sort of...her parents did not attend but drop the children off at Sunday school classes during their childhood), there was Dad (raised Lutheran), my sister and me.
By the time I was 6 and my sister was 12, my father became involved with the Masons. He also put my sister in Job's Daughters and when I was old enough, I also entered into the organization. I can mark this time as when strange things began to happen around my family. My parents began to fight constantly. I had terrible nightmares of demons grabbing me. I knew nothing of demons because before Job's Daughters my parents never spoke of God or Satan. They didn't believe, they didn't not believe...it was as if nothing of God existed to them. My father, after joining Masons and putting us in Job's Daughters decide that I needed to attend church because it looked bad in our small community to not go. By this time, we had gotten word that the Job's Daughter chapter was disbanding in our area. My sister went off to college and I was baptised and placed into Lutheran confirmation classes. My mother refused to attend church at all, feeling it was hypocritical to belong to something she didn't believe in, just to "look good".
Confirmation classes went on for two years. The nightmares continued and there was now this feeling of being watched, being followed by something unseen. My father became more and more involved in the Masons. My parents marriage worsened by the day. Once confirmed into the Lutheran church, my parents divorced and I never went back to another service.
My mother and I moved into a small apartment. My father remarried within 10 months. I now had younger step-siblings. I was a wreck. I began to wake up to a feeling of something sitting on my chest, smothering me. I would have long scratches on my body. I was depressed and defeated at 14. It was at this time I met a boy. He was rebellious and wild. He introduced me to smoking,drinking, drugs and eventually sex. I hated my life. My parents could see I was out-of-control but any attempt to punish me would lead to violent fights. At 17, I left home, moved in with the boy and within 2 months was pregnant. This relationship quickly fell apart. The boy was unable to stop drinking and drugs and was violent toward me. At 18, I gave birth alone. I had never been so afraid and alone in my life.
I eventually moved back home to my mom who was now remarried. It was a far better situation for my son but I still had a lot of unresolved anger toward my mother, most of it I can now see was misplaced. One day, I was driving around trying to cool off after getting into it with my mom, when I saw a little shop I had never noticed. I went inside. It was an occult store. A man was inside giving tarot readings. He asked me if I wanted one. I said I did. I had never seen anything like this and it was exciting to me. He started the reading. He started talking about all of the spirits around me. He said "Do you feel like you are being watched?Do you feel pressure on your chest? Do you feel like someone is there and when you turn around, no one is there?" Yes! Yes! Yes! I felt so happy that someone was finally validating what I'd been feeling since I was a little girl. I said, "are these beings evil?" As I always felt that they were. "No. No. There is no evil" he assured me. "They just want your attention. You are meant to be a medium. To help them. They are just frustrated that you keep ignoring them." I bought it. I believed it all. I purchased every book I could find on mediumship, Wicca, and my very own set of tarot cards.
Things seemed to get better for me after this. I could read cards, communicate with these "spirits", even see them (they were so beautiful)...the darkness seemed to subside. I began to get visions of things that hadn't happened yet. I could "see" people's true intentions...could just know their darkest secrets. I felt powerful and special. I felt like for the first time, I was in control of my life.
Everything seemed good until I met a guy. He was studying to be a minister (nondenominational). He was so kind to me. I really liked him and enjoyed his company. I had never had a guy interested in just me, not sex...he just wanted to know me. He never put me down for my beliefs but challenged me, questioning everything. He made me start to question what was really happening in my life and just who were these "spirits" that I was talking to. He believed me on everything I told him but was sure it was demons that I was talking to. One night, I decided to really think about things because this was a guy who never took anything from me, he never asked for anything in return for his friendship. He had never lied to me as far as I could see. If he thought these spirits were evil than I needed to really look into it. I asked them to show me who they really were. After much arguing with these "spirits"...they finally began to scream horrible things about my friend. Accusing him of every evil. I knew this was a lie. Their spell over me had been broke. I told them to show me who they really were. They laughed at me. Finally, they did. I will not describe exactly what I saw but there were so many of them and they were anything but beautiful. They were hideous. A smell of burnt carcass filled the room.
I cried out to God for the first time in my life. Begged him to forgive me. Begged him to save me. I finally fell onto my bed from exhaustion, my mind's eye being bombarded with visions of torture and horrible death....over and over. I felt I was going to lose my mind. The next day, and I can only imagine how awful I looked, I went into a Christian book store. I asked the lady at the counter to show me everything she had on getting rid of demons.
I spent the next year fighting this. I would pray, give my life over and over to Christ. Things would get better for a while but then that feeling of being watched would come over me again. I would also get sucked back into the occult little by little. First by "innocently" reading my horoscopes, then progressing to card readings. I would soon feel guilty and try to give it all up again. I know it doesn't make sense to keep going back to the occult when I knew how evil it was...and I did know. I can only say it was an addiction and the devil knew how to pull me back in. I needed experiences to make me feel special.
I would also go off on different rabbit trails, thinking well if this occult stuff is so bad, maybe I should try Hinduism or Buddhism. I would study different belief systems...then get bored or feel guilty again. Finally, I just gave it ALL up...even Christianity. I just blocked everything. Total shut down.
It was during this time, that I met my now-husband. We dated. I eventually joined the NO church (he was raised Catholic). We married. He adopted my son and later we had another son. I felt like life was finally were it needed to be. Then about 3 years ago, I attended a festival with a friend. There were card readers at this event. Everything was all new age and occult. I kind of laughed it all off and didn't think much about it again. But soon things started to go wrong. I couldn't place my finger on it but it was that same feeling of being watched. I didn't tell anyone about my feelings. A few weeks later, my young son came up to me with a troubled look on his face. He asked me if I could " please tell the boys to go away." I asked him what boys. He answered, "the one in dark robes. They surround me. Mom, they HATE you." I froze. He said they just showed up within the last week. I told him I would take care of it. We prayed together but I didn't know what to do. I think that me attending that new age event is what triggered this to occur. The demons "found" me again.
My husband was traveling that day. He didn't get home until after we had gone to sleep. I slept with my son in his bedroom that night as I was scared to leave him alone. My husband woke me up at 3 am, looking very distraught. I went out to talk to him. I won't share everything but he apparently woke to a man sitting at the end of his bed. This man, like the "children" who talked to my son, told him that I was terrible. That God hated me. That he hoped I would die. That I was a liar and evil. There was also a smell to the man, like rotting, burning flesh (I know that smell). My husband called on St. Michael and the "man" screamed and left. My husband said he could instantly feel the difference in the room when he called for Michael...like a light being turned on in the darkness.
We stayed up all night praying and blessing the house with holy water. In the morning, I taught my son to call on St Michael if anything like this ever happens again. I prayed the long form St Michael prayer in every single room of the house. The next day, I spoke to the priest of our NO church. He is quite conservative (still does a Latin Mass each week) so I wasn't sure how he would respond. He took it very seriously. After that day, we have not had anything else happen. I trust St Michael to protect our family. I call on him each morning and each night. I am forever in his debt.
I believe that all of the previous occurred due to the initial involvement with the Masons. I can truly pinpoint that as when everything began to be surrounded by darkness in my life. I know this all sounds so farfetched but I assure you it is not. Evil is not just some idea...it is real. It's a battle that we must all fight each day.
Over the last two years, I came to know about traditionalism (thanks, sbyvl!) and each day I'm growing in my understanding of what it means to be a true follower of Christ. I have much to atone for in my life. I feel the way to do this and the way to keep what happened to my family from ever happening again is to be obedient to the Catholic Church's teachings. It's the only way.
Thank you for reading. I pray that all will leave the darkness (whatever form that takes for you) behind and seek the True way to Him.
I was born into an agnostic family. There was mom (raised Protestant, not sure which denomination... sort of...her parents did not attend but drop the children off at Sunday school classes during their childhood), there was Dad (raised Lutheran), my sister and me.
By the time I was 6 and my sister was 12, my father became involved with the Masons. He also put my sister in Job's Daughters and when I was old enough, I also entered into the organization. I can mark this time as when strange things began to happen around my family. My parents began to fight constantly. I had terrible nightmares of demons grabbing me. I knew nothing of demons because before Job's Daughters my parents never spoke of God or Satan. They didn't believe, they didn't not believe...it was as if nothing of God existed to them. My father, after joining Masons and putting us in Job's Daughters decide that I needed to attend church because it looked bad in our small community to not go. By this time, we had gotten word that the Job's Daughter chapter was disbanding in our area. My sister went off to college and I was baptised and placed into Lutheran confirmation classes. My mother refused to attend church at all, feeling it was hypocritical to belong to something she didn't believe in, just to "look good".
Confirmation classes went on for two years. The nightmares continued and there was now this feeling of being watched, being followed by something unseen. My father became more and more involved in the Masons. My parents marriage worsened by the day. Once confirmed into the Lutheran church, my parents divorced and I never went back to another service.
My mother and I moved into a small apartment. My father remarried within 10 months. I now had younger step-siblings. I was a wreck. I began to wake up to a feeling of something sitting on my chest, smothering me. I would have long scratches on my body. I was depressed and defeated at 14. It was at this time I met a boy. He was rebellious and wild. He introduced me to smoking,drinking, drugs and eventually sex. I hated my life. My parents could see I was out-of-control but any attempt to punish me would lead to violent fights. At 17, I left home, moved in with the boy and within 2 months was pregnant. This relationship quickly fell apart. The boy was unable to stop drinking and drugs and was violent toward me. At 18, I gave birth alone. I had never been so afraid and alone in my life.
I eventually moved back home to my mom who was now remarried. It was a far better situation for my son but I still had a lot of unresolved anger toward my mother, most of it I can now see was misplaced. One day, I was driving around trying to cool off after getting into it with my mom, when I saw a little shop I had never noticed. I went inside. It was an occult store. A man was inside giving tarot readings. He asked me if I wanted one. I said I did. I had never seen anything like this and it was exciting to me. He started the reading. He started talking about all of the spirits around me. He said "Do you feel like you are being watched?Do you feel pressure on your chest? Do you feel like someone is there and when you turn around, no one is there?" Yes! Yes! Yes! I felt so happy that someone was finally validating what I'd been feeling since I was a little girl. I said, "are these beings evil?" As I always felt that they were. "No. No. There is no evil" he assured me. "They just want your attention. You are meant to be a medium. To help them. They are just frustrated that you keep ignoring them." I bought it. I believed it all. I purchased every book I could find on mediumship, Wicca, and my very own set of tarot cards.
Things seemed to get better for me after this. I could read cards, communicate with these "spirits", even see them (they were so beautiful)...the darkness seemed to subside. I began to get visions of things that hadn't happened yet. I could "see" people's true intentions...could just know their darkest secrets. I felt powerful and special. I felt like for the first time, I was in control of my life.
Everything seemed good until I met a guy. He was studying to be a minister (nondenominational). He was so kind to me. I really liked him and enjoyed his company. I had never had a guy interested in just me, not sex...he just wanted to know me. He never put me down for my beliefs but challenged me, questioning everything. He made me start to question what was really happening in my life and just who were these "spirits" that I was talking to. He believed me on everything I told him but was sure it was demons that I was talking to. One night, I decided to really think about things because this was a guy who never took anything from me, he never asked for anything in return for his friendship. He had never lied to me as far as I could see. If he thought these spirits were evil than I needed to really look into it. I asked them to show me who they really were. After much arguing with these "spirits"...they finally began to scream horrible things about my friend. Accusing him of every evil. I knew this was a lie. Their spell over me had been broke. I told them to show me who they really were. They laughed at me. Finally, they did. I will not describe exactly what I saw but there were so many of them and they were anything but beautiful. They were hideous. A smell of burnt carcass filled the room.
I cried out to God for the first time in my life. Begged him to forgive me. Begged him to save me. I finally fell onto my bed from exhaustion, my mind's eye being bombarded with visions of torture and horrible death....over and over. I felt I was going to lose my mind. The next day, and I can only imagine how awful I looked, I went into a Christian book store. I asked the lady at the counter to show me everything she had on getting rid of demons.
I spent the next year fighting this. I would pray, give my life over and over to Christ. Things would get better for a while but then that feeling of being watched would come over me again. I would also get sucked back into the occult little by little. First by "innocently" reading my horoscopes, then progressing to card readings. I would soon feel guilty and try to give it all up again. I know it doesn't make sense to keep going back to the occult when I knew how evil it was...and I did know. I can only say it was an addiction and the devil knew how to pull me back in. I needed experiences to make me feel special.
I would also go off on different rabbit trails, thinking well if this occult stuff is so bad, maybe I should try Hinduism or Buddhism. I would study different belief systems...then get bored or feel guilty again. Finally, I just gave it ALL up...even Christianity. I just blocked everything. Total shut down.
It was during this time, that I met my now-husband. We dated. I eventually joined the NO church (he was raised Catholic). We married. He adopted my son and later we had another son. I felt like life was finally were it needed to be. Then about 3 years ago, I attended a festival with a friend. There were card readers at this event. Everything was all new age and occult. I kind of laughed it all off and didn't think much about it again. But soon things started to go wrong. I couldn't place my finger on it but it was that same feeling of being watched. I didn't tell anyone about my feelings. A few weeks later, my young son came up to me with a troubled look on his face. He asked me if I could " please tell the boys to go away." I asked him what boys. He answered, "the one in dark robes. They surround me. Mom, they HATE you." I froze. He said they just showed up within the last week. I told him I would take care of it. We prayed together but I didn't know what to do. I think that me attending that new age event is what triggered this to occur. The demons "found" me again.
My husband was traveling that day. He didn't get home until after we had gone to sleep. I slept with my son in his bedroom that night as I was scared to leave him alone. My husband woke me up at 3 am, looking very distraught. I went out to talk to him. I won't share everything but he apparently woke to a man sitting at the end of his bed. This man, like the "children" who talked to my son, told him that I was terrible. That God hated me. That he hoped I would die. That I was a liar and evil. There was also a smell to the man, like rotting, burning flesh (I know that smell). My husband called on St. Michael and the "man" screamed and left. My husband said he could instantly feel the difference in the room when he called for Michael...like a light being turned on in the darkness.
We stayed up all night praying and blessing the house with holy water. In the morning, I taught my son to call on St Michael if anything like this ever happens again. I prayed the long form St Michael prayer in every single room of the house. The next day, I spoke to the priest of our NO church. He is quite conservative (still does a Latin Mass each week) so I wasn't sure how he would respond. He took it very seriously. After that day, we have not had anything else happen. I trust St Michael to protect our family. I call on him each morning and each night. I am forever in his debt.
I believe that all of the previous occurred due to the initial involvement with the Masons. I can truly pinpoint that as when everything began to be surrounded by darkness in my life. I know this all sounds so farfetched but I assure you it is not. Evil is not just some idea...it is real. It's a battle that we must all fight each day.
Over the last two years, I came to know about traditionalism (thanks, sbyvl!) and each day I'm growing in my understanding of what it means to be a true follower of Christ. I have much to atone for in my life. I feel the way to do this and the way to keep what happened to my family from ever happening again is to be obedient to the Catholic Church's teachings. It's the only way.
Thank you for reading. I pray that all will leave the darkness (whatever form that takes for you) behind and seek the True way to Him.