MelGibson
New Member
"---- are responsible for all the wars in the world."
Posts: 38
|
Post by MelGibson on May 18, 2016 18:53:20 GMT -5
A Jew walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Jew replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"
|
|
|
Post by Voxxkowalski on May 18, 2016 18:56:50 GMT -5
If Meat Eaters acted like Vegans
|
|
Deleted
Past Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 19, 2016 2:44:18 GMT -5
Hahaha! :-D
|
|
|
Post by RitaMarita on May 19, 2016 6:56:47 GMT -5
If Meat Eaters acted like Vegans Wow! This is hilarious, Clotilde!!!
|
|
|
Post by RitaMarita on May 19, 2016 7:04:55 GMT -5
A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor:
A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.
“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”
“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.
“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”
|
|
|
Post by Marya Dabrowski on May 20, 2016 7:13:00 GMT -5
Death and Cookies
An 87-year old man, on his death bed and in pain, smells the aroma of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies coming from outside his bedroom. He thinks to himself, "my dear wife must be making my favorite cookies as a sentiment to our final hours together." So he musters up what little strength he has remaining in his feeble body and drags himself out of bed.
Fighting off the pain and weakness, he stumbles into the hallway, down the stairs, and to the kitchen door. There, on the table, he sees a huge plate of chocolate chip cookies, the steam rising from the plate, the chocolate chips still soft and gooey. He thinks, "God bless my devoted wife for giving me such pleasure in my final hours on this earth", and he then falls to the floor and crawls towards the cookies.
He gets to the table and, with the last ounce of strength he has left, reaches up with his hand to take a cookie. Just then, he feels the stinging Whack! of a metal spatula against his knuckles.
He looks up to see his wife standing over him, saying "Don't you dare touch those cookies, they're for the funeral guests!"
|
|
|
Post by RitaMarita on May 21, 2016 7:08:33 GMT -5
Death and Cookies
An 87-year old man, on his death bed and in pain, smells the aroma of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies coming from outside his bedroom. He thinks to himself, "my dear wife must be making my favorite cookies as a sentiment to our final hours together." So he musters up what little strength he has remaining in his feeble body and drags himself out of bed. Fighting off the pain and weakness, he stumbles into the hallway, down the stairs, and to the kitchen door. There, on the table, he sees a huge plate of chocolate chip cookies, the steam rising from the plate, the chocolate chips still soft and gooey. He thinks, "God bless my devoted wife for giving me such pleasure in my final hours on this earth", and he then falls to the floor and crawls towards the cookies. He gets to the table and, with the last ounce of strength he has left, reaches up with his hand to take a cookie. Just then, he feels the stinging Whack! of a metal spatula against his knuckles. He looks up to see his wife standing over him, saying "Don't you dare touch those cookies, they're for the funeral guests!" Ouch! Lots of laughter...
|
|
|
Post by Voxxkowalski on May 21, 2016 19:37:33 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Marya Dabrowski on May 22, 2016 6:30:45 GMT -5
I would not have appreciated this before I had my own kids.
|
|
|
JOKES!!!
May 22, 2016 6:42:18 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Voxxkowalski on May 22, 2016 6:42:18 GMT -5
Is that from a real song? Because its horrible. The vid is funny though...let it go! Letit Go!
|
|
|
Post by Marya Dabrowski on May 23, 2016 6:48:18 GMT -5
Is that from a real song? Because its horrible. The vid is funny though...let it go! Letit Go! The song is from the movie "Frozen"
|
|
|
JOKES!!!
May 23, 2016 8:27:20 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Voxxkowalski on May 23, 2016 8:27:20 GMT -5
Is that from a real song? Because its horrible. The vid is funny though...let it go! Letit Go! The song is from the movie "Frozen" ug. Disney music.....
|
|
|
Post by RitaMarita on Jun 1, 2016 13:51:13 GMT -5
One Sunday morning a novus ordo priest saw a little boy staring intently at the large plaque on the church wall.
The plaque was covered with names, and flags hung on either side of it.
“Father,” asked the boy, “what’s this?”
He replied, “It’s a memorial to all the men and women who died in the service.”
They stood together in silence for a moment. Finally, the boy asked with genuine concern: “Was it at the eight or the ten-thirty Mass?”
|
|
|
Post by chestertonian on Jun 1, 2016 13:56:00 GMT -5
June needs some comic vrelief since it is "pride month"
|
|
|
Post by chestertonian on Jun 1, 2016 16:02:09 GMT -5
not a fan of dead anything jokes
|
|