Post by Pacelli on Jan 9, 2022 12:40:50 GMT -5
The following, "More About the Bad Marriage Dilemma," was published in the American Ecclesiastical Review, Vol. CXXX, no. 6, June 1954, pp. 391-397.
PDF linked HERE
(Note: The reason I republish this here should be obvious. In our times, and this includes Traditional Catholics, there is a tremendous amount of confusion about what "bad marriages" are and what must be done to correct them.
This gives readers an easy to find resource to send to those who are confused on this matter with the hope that they will seek to remedy their situation. As Fr. Connell correctly points out, to die in a bad marriage without repenting and correcting it will lead to eternal damnation. A few "happy" years on earth with a person who is not your lawful spouse is not worth your immortal soul being damned! Correct the situation immediately.
Here are some points I would like to state as a reminder to Catholics about marriage who are confused about the principle. Fr. Connell's excellent article did not cover each of these points, but I think it's good to post them here as some Catholics may need to review the Catholic teaching, which used to be known easily to Catholics like a child saying the "abc's" but now seems to be a matter of grave confusion to some Catholics.
1. Separating from one's spouse does not give one the right to begin a new illicit relationship whether or not it leads to a bad marriage. People who do this are playing with fire, and must confess this as it is the willful placing oneself in the proximate occasion of sin.
2. As Fr. Connell notes, the Church may allow those who are in a bad marriage to live together chastely as brother and sister, who are the parents together of children, to support the children. This does not mean that two people (male and female) can live together, chastely or not, in which one or both are married and do not have children together.
3. A civil divorce is irrelevant to God's law and means nothing as far as the reality of one's marriage. If a civil divorce must take place, it is only for legal reasons, the husband and wife remain married. If there is a lawful separation, one with legitimate grounds, i.e. adultery, the couple may remain permanently separated, but they are not divorced and can never be divorced, and may never use this separated situation as a pretext for beginning an illicit relationship that may lead to a bad marriage.
4. If one spouse is terrible in a marriage, abusive, adulterer, etc., the victim spouse cannot presume that since they married a dud who was so terrible, they are free to remarry. The marriage is indissoluble. As sad as such a situation is, the victim in the marriage must live a chaste life, and must not form an illicit relationship that may lead to a bad marriage, and must certainly not "marry" again.
5. There are no do-overs on marriage. You don't get to choose a new spouse because you failed at your marriage, or your spouse failed at the marriage, or you both failed. )
PDF linked HERE
(Note: The reason I republish this here should be obvious. In our times, and this includes Traditional Catholics, there is a tremendous amount of confusion about what "bad marriages" are and what must be done to correct them.
This gives readers an easy to find resource to send to those who are confused on this matter with the hope that they will seek to remedy their situation. As Fr. Connell correctly points out, to die in a bad marriage without repenting and correcting it will lead to eternal damnation. A few "happy" years on earth with a person who is not your lawful spouse is not worth your immortal soul being damned! Correct the situation immediately.
Here are some points I would like to state as a reminder to Catholics about marriage who are confused about the principle. Fr. Connell's excellent article did not cover each of these points, but I think it's good to post them here as some Catholics may need to review the Catholic teaching, which used to be known easily to Catholics like a child saying the "abc's" but now seems to be a matter of grave confusion to some Catholics.
1. Separating from one's spouse does not give one the right to begin a new illicit relationship whether or not it leads to a bad marriage. People who do this are playing with fire, and must confess this as it is the willful placing oneself in the proximate occasion of sin.
2. As Fr. Connell notes, the Church may allow those who are in a bad marriage to live together chastely as brother and sister, who are the parents together of children, to support the children. This does not mean that two people (male and female) can live together, chastely or not, in which one or both are married and do not have children together.
3. A civil divorce is irrelevant to God's law and means nothing as far as the reality of one's marriage. If a civil divorce must take place, it is only for legal reasons, the husband and wife remain married. If there is a lawful separation, one with legitimate grounds, i.e. adultery, the couple may remain permanently separated, but they are not divorced and can never be divorced, and may never use this separated situation as a pretext for beginning an illicit relationship that may lead to a bad marriage.
4. If one spouse is terrible in a marriage, abusive, adulterer, etc., the victim spouse cannot presume that since they married a dud who was so terrible, they are free to remarry. The marriage is indissoluble. As sad as such a situation is, the victim in the marriage must live a chaste life, and must not form an illicit relationship that may lead to a bad marriage, and must certainly not "marry" again.
5. There are no do-overs on marriage. You don't get to choose a new spouse because you failed at your marriage, or your spouse failed at the marriage, or you both failed. )