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NIHIL OBSTAT: John A. Goodwine, J.C.D., Censor Librorum
IMPRIMATUR: Francis Cardinal Spellman, Archbishop of New York
The nihil obstat and imprimatur are official declarations that a book
or pamphlet is free of doctrinal or moral error. No implication is
contained therein that those who have granted the nihil obstat and
imprimatur agree with the contents, opinions or statements expressed.
August 22, 1959
CONTENTS
FOREWORD
By His Eminence, Francis Cardinal Spellman, Archbishop of New York
Chapter One: YOU CAN HAVE A HAPPIER FAMILY
The purpose of this book--to strengthen your family life . . . Avoiding
modern pressures against family life . . . Parents are partners with
God in a sacred vocation . . . True Christian home as a church, school
and recreation center in one . . . The example of the Holy Family . . .
How can you teach your child to know God? . . . You will find your
greatest joy in your children.
Chapter Two: YOUR JOB AS A PARENT
Church and social scientists agree on characteristics of a happy family
. . . Parents agree that home and children come first . . . Father and
mother are equals--Father the head, mother the heart . . . The
importance of clear-cut family rules . . . Everybody should work
together . . . Advantages and disadvantages of the large family . . .
How children help and teach each other . . . Considerations for parents
of small families . . . How to help an "only child" make a good
adjustment . . . Four basic traits that make a good father . . . Why a
mother is the most important person her child ever knows . . . "Don'ts"
for mothers.
Chapter Three: YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S BEST TEACHER
Your child's need for security which only you can give . . . Ways to
build his self-confidence . . . Recognize your child's own native
talents and capabilities and accept him for what he is . . .
"Understanding" is not enough; you must also give him direction . . .
How to earn respect for your authority . . . Authority thrives on use .
. . How to instill obedience without being a dictator . . . Forming
good habits of work, study and play . . . The art of self-denial: Why
your child must learn to say "no" to impulses . . . Five principles to
help you discipline your child effectively.
Chapter Four: YOUR CHILD'S MORAL TRAINING
Teaching your child about God . . . How to use stories, prayers and
pictures effectively . . . Developing his conscience . . . Early sex
experimentation and what to do about it . . . Lying and stealing . . .
What about "dirty words"? . . . How children learn them . . . Don't
stress sin too much or use religion as a weapon . . . The right
attitudes on confession . . . Don't be too scrupulous! . . . When
children doubt religious truths . . . Church teachings will withstand
investigation . . . Masturbation and homosexuality.
Chapter Five: WHY SEND YOUR CHILD TO CATHOLIC SCHOOLS?
You have the first responsibility of deciding how to educate your child
. . . Why we have parochial schools . . . How school may influence your
child's attitudes for life . . . Moral teaching should hold first place
in the classroom . . . Answers to objections by parents who choose non-
sectarian schools . . . Is public school education really superior? . .
. Graduates of Catholic schools are their most ardent supporters . . .
The case for Catholic higher education . . . Responsibilities of
parents with children in public schools . . . Newman Clubs . . . Co-
operating with your child's teacher . . . Don't nag your child to the
limit on his school work . . . Six ways to help your youngster prepare
for college . . . Let him earn his own way--at least partially . . .
School costs vs. "school palaces"--why Catholics should be interested
in the controversy.
Chapter Six: HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD ABOUT SEX
Conflicting advice about sex education confuses parents . . . Five
basic principles which should be followed in teaching about sex . . .
What parents may do when they "can't talk about sex" . . . How your
child first learns about sex . . . The relationship between bowel
training and sex attitudes . . . How to answer your child's questions .
. . A timetable for sex education, year by year . . . Overcoming
"street corner" knowledge . . . Preparing your boy or girl for puberty
. . . The different natures of the sexes . . . Ignorance about life is
not innocence.
Chapter Seven: WHAT OUTSIDE INFLUENCES CAN DO TO YOUR CHILD
Influences outside the home, Church and school can harm or help . . .
Counteracting the steady sex stimulation to which children are exposed
. . . Separating the good from the bad in television, movies, radio
programs, books and magazines . . . How you can make your influence
felt . . . Pornography on the newsstands . . . Cultivating wholesome
tastes . . . The importance of good companions . . . Criticizing your
child's friends may have an effect opposite to that intended . . .
Community recreation centers, teen-age canteens, etc. . . . Don't be a
stern policeman over your child's tastes!
Chapter Eight: THE CHILD WHO IS "EXCEPTIONAL"
One child in ten is unlike others in some important way . . . Mental
retardation--causes, detection, treatment and training . . . Facts on
cerebral palsy, epilepsy, physical defects which restrict movement,
neurosis, exceptional difficulties in seeing, speaking or hearing, etc.
. . . How parents can aid the exceptional child . . . Pity seldom helps
. . . Emotional problems of exceptional children . . . How to prevent
overdependence and rebellion . . . Brothers and sisters of an
exceptional child may also need special attention . . . The adopted
child . . . What should he be told? . . . How to handle a "genius" . .
. Signs of a gifted child . . . Most bright children lead happy lives.
Chapter Nine: WHEN ONE PARENT MUST BE FATHER AND MOTHER
A child without a mother or father needs more security than the average
youngster . . . Parents can be "psychological deserters" . . . How a
child may react when one of his parents dies . . . A child needs to
retain faith in his missing parent . . . How a "substitute father" or
"substitute mother" can help . . . Dangers for parents to avoid . . .
The evils of "smother-love" and overstrictness . . . Gaining strength
through prayer . . . Don't abuse foster homes . . . When should parents
let children be adopted? . . . Guidance for stepparents . . .
Principles to help the children grow to love their new parents.
Chapter Ten: WHERE TO GET HELP WHEN IN TROUBLE
Almost every family faces serious problems at some time . . .
Differences and difficulties must be expected . . . Danger signs of
trouble . . . Don't let problems grow until they become unmanageable .
. . When to seek outside guidance in solving family problems . . .
Where to take your problems . . . What priests and family counselors
can do . . . Sources of financial, physical and emotional aid . . .
Psychiatry is not a "dirty word" . . . How a psychologist and a
psychiatrist handle a case . . . Beware of "psychological quacks" . . .
What to do if your family is "disgraced' . . . Care for the unwed
mother.
Chapter Eleven: SHOULD MOTHERS WORK?
How working mothers are causing a revolution in home life . . . Reasons
why more married women than single women now hold jobs . . . How a
mother who works full-time may harm her child, her husband and herself
. . . Why nurseries can't substitute . . . What happens to children
deprived of mothers . . . How the family unit suffers through
overemphasis of material values . . . Does it really pay mothers to
work? Statistics prove employment outside the home often is
unprofitable . . . Alternatives to work outside the home for mothers .
. . The problem of "moonlighters"--men who hold two full-time jobs . .
. How overambitious fathers may harm their families.
Chapter Twelve: WHAT WILL YOUR CHILD DO IN LIFE?
Every person should decide his own course . . . How you can implant
ideals to guide your child . . . Three requirements every career should
fulfill . . . How your child can know if he has a call to the religious
life . . . Requirements for priests, brothers and sisters . . . Can
Catholic parents thwart a religious vocation? . . . Answers to
objections by parents . . . The vocation of marriage . . . Reasons why
a man or woman might remain single . . . Young men and women in the
world can still serve God and man in almost all occupations . . . Even
one individual can do great good . . . The child who "disappoints" his
parents by choosing an "inferior" career.
Chapter Thirteen: HOW TO HANDLE YOUR TEEN-AGER
Modern factors which have produced the "teen-age" crisis . . . Today's
youngsters have greater freedom, sophistication and insecurity . . .
Teen-age problems almost unheard-of a generation ago . . . Physical and
emotional changes of adolescents. . . How they are affected by
awakening sexual desire . . . The fight for independence . . . What
your child needs to become a successful adult . . . Force him to take
responsibility . . . How teen-agers' codes guide their conduct . . .
Practical problems of adolescents . . . Why parents are frustrated in
dealing with their adolescents . . . Why you should let your child make
mistakes.
Chapter Fourteen: PREPARING YOUR CHILD FOR MARRIAGE
How you affect your child's attitudes toward the other sex . . .
Practical rules for parties and dances . . . When should youngsters
begin to date? . . . Effective deterrents to premarital intercourse . .
. The importance of modesty in dress . . . But you can still be
attractive! . . . Moral dangers of going steady . . . What public-
school officials say about teen-age pregnancies . . . Why do Americans
marry so young? . . . The kinds of men and women your child should
avoid . . . Impediments to valid marriages . . . Qualities they should
seek in a mate . . . The serious purposes of courtship . . . How long
should engagements be? . . . Preparations for marriage.
Chapter Fifteen: HOW TO AVOID A MIXED MARRIAGE IN YOUR FAMILY
The growing trend toward interfaith unions . . . Why the Church opposes
mixed marriages . . . Why such unions often end in divorce and
desertions . . . Strains and tensions are common in mixed marriages . .
. All faiths oppose them . . . Church rules on mixed marriages . . .
Why Protestants object to prenuptial promises--and why Catholics in a
mixed marriage are at a disadvantage . . . Do such marriages make
converts? . . . How the sincerity of a prospective convert can be
tested . . . Three basic ways to help your child avoid a mixed
marriage.
Chapter Sixteen: RELIGIOUS PRACTICES IN YOUR HOME
Your home can be a little sanctuary . . . Family prayer . . . Inspiring
customs from every land to help you celebrate Christmas, Easter and
other feast days . . . Suggestions for observing special religious
feasts throughout the year . . . How saints' days can be celebrated to
strengthen your family's spiritual life . . . Your child's special
days--baptismal day, feast day of his patron saint, First Communion and
Confirmation days . . . Articles for the sickroom.
APPENDIX
Naming your baby . . . Church rules on fast and abstinence . . . The
Eucharistic fast . . . A Betrothal Rite . . . Consecration of the
family to the Holy Family . . . Family Prayer Card: The Confiteor,
Prayer for the home, Parents' prayer for children, Children's prayer
for their parents, Prayer for a sick person, Blessing on sleep, Prayer
for the dead . . . Prayer for vocations to the priesthood and religious
life.
Full book linked HERE