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Post by RitaMarita on Jan 13, 2018 17:31:59 GMT -5
( Chapter 15 of Light and Peace by R.P. Quadrupani, Barnabite) 1 – Sadness, says St. Francis de Sales, is the worst thing in the world, sin alone excepted. 2 – It is a dangerous error to seek recollection in sadness: it is the spirit of God that produces recollection; sadness is the work of the spirit of darkness. 3 – Do not forget the rule given by St. Francis de Sales for the discernment of spirits: any thought that troubles and disquiets us cannot come from the God of peace, who makes His dwelling-place only in peaceful souls. 4 – It is wrong to deny oneself all diversion. The mind becomes fatigued and depressed by remaining always concentrated in itself and thus more easily falls a prey to sadness. St. Thomas says explicitly that one may incur sin by refusing all innocent amusement. Every excess, no matter what its nature, is contrary to order and consequently to virtue. 5 – Recreations and amusements are to the life of the soul what seasoning is to our corporal food. Food that is too highly seasoned quickly becomes injurious and sometimes fatal in its effects; that which is not seasoned at all becomes unendurable because of its insipidity and unpalatableness. 6 – As to the amount of diversion it is right to take, no absolute measure can be given: the rule is that each person should have as much as is necessary for him. This quantity varies according to the bent of the mind, the nature of the habitual occupations, and the greater or less predisposition to sadness one observes in his disposition. 7 – When you find your heart growing sad, divert yourself without a moment’s delay; make a visit, enter into conversation with those around you, read some amusing book, take a walk, sing, do something, it matters not what provided you close the door of your heart against this terrible enemy. As the sound of a trumpet gives the signal for combat, so thoughts apprise the devil that a favorable moment has come for him to attack us. __________________________________________________ whoshallfindavaliantwoman.blogspot.com/2018/01/sadness.html
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Post by Voxxkowalski on Jan 13, 2018 20:05:59 GMT -5
I have been watching recently recovered videos of my children at christmas ( they are adults now) I am incredibly sad at the passing ( empty nest ) is this a sin?
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Post by RitaMarita on Jan 16, 2018 15:22:07 GMT -5
I have been watching recently recovered videos of my children at christmas ( they are adults now) I am incredibly sad at the passing ( empty nest ) is this a sin? Sadness is only wrong if you let it get carried away I think. I think it is sort of like the difference between sorrow and sadness is that sorrow is controlled sadness. There is nothing wrong with a genuine sorrow for our sins or for Our Lord's Passion and Death. It is only when we let sorrow take over all of our actions and depress us and keep us from functioning that it becomes sadness. So, you should be fine. (Hope that made some sense... ) Know how you feel about the empty nest... I have experienced that a bit with being a governess and all the children growing up and leaving... Hang in there!
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Post by jen51 on Jan 16, 2018 20:42:52 GMT -5
Thanks for this, Rita. I've been trying to fight off sadness this week. This gives me a boost to not let myself succumb to its allurements!
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Post by RitaMarita on Jan 17, 2018 19:13:41 GMT -5
Thanks for this, Rita. I've been trying to fight off sadness this week. This gives me a boost to not let myself succumb to its allurements! You are most welcome, Jen! We all struggle in this, especially those who like me might have a melancholic temperament. Hang in there and find something to be grateful for. That usually helps me to feel better! I sometimes sing part of this song when I am down:
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SADNESS
Jan 21, 2018 12:13:46 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by chestertonian on Jan 21, 2018 12:13:46 GMT -5
this is interesting. priests haverecommended this book to me, light and peace, because of scruples but this passage makes me very worried because I have clinical depression and so "sadness' isnt just a passing thing but a persistant state of the mind for me
ive struggled with it off and on my whole life and "diversions" always did help. playing piano took me out of my own head and gave my mind and hands something constructive to do, plus it can be used to bless others. then i lost my ability to play piano which depresses the hell out of me. i can listen to music, but it just makes me sad that i cannot make music anymore. stuff like reading a book to my kids or hanging out with my 16 month old, while he's a walking ball of cuteness, all they do is just remind me what a afailure i am and how i'm failing them daily. cant stop thinking about howthey deserve better and i probably was wrong to think it was a good idea to marry and have children....i wasnt cut out for this. I think every parent feels this way sometimes but for me, it's every time i'm around my wife and kids.
i guess there is a profound difference in sadness and depression...sadness is just a bad mood. moods come and go. but depression, severe depression is a different beast. if "sadness" / depression is a sin just seems like i am in a constant state of sin and i cant see it ever getting better. having a progressive disease means that when I lose an ability, i have to adapt and find some other way to cope....until I lose the ability to do THAT and then have to adapt and finding something else. its a constant state of having to adapt and adjust to a narrowing list of things you can still do. even diversions i used to enjoy dont give me much pleasure. psychologists call this "anhedonia"--inability to feel pleasure. tv, video games, watching "duck soup," nothing does it...and i dont really look forward to much. i wanted to go on antidepressants but this one doctor i saw said that he wouldn't risk anything that might affect my heart rhythm.
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Post by RitaMarita on Jan 21, 2018 14:04:06 GMT -5
this is interesting. priests haverecommended this book to me, light and peace, because of scruples but this passage makes me very worried because I have clinical depression and so "sadness' isnt just a passing thing but a persistant state of the mind for me ive struggled with it off and on my whole life and "diversions" always did help. playing piano took me out of my own head and gave my mind and hands something constructive to do, plus it can be used to bless others. then i lost my ability to play piano which depresses the hell out of me. i can listen to music, but it just makes me sad that i cannot make music anymore. stuff like reading a book to my kids or hanging out with my 16 month old, while he's a walking ball of cuteness, all they do is just remind me what a afailure i am and how i'm failing them daily. cant stop thinking about howthey deserve better and i probably was wrong to think it was a good idea to marry and have children....i wasnt cut out for this. I think every parent feels this way sometimes but for me, it's every time i'm around my wife and kids. i guess there is a profound difference in sadness and depression...sadness is just a bad mood. moods come and go. but depression, severe depression is a different beast. if "sadness" / depression is a sin just seems like i am in a constant state of sin and i cant see it ever getting better. having a progressive disease means that when I lose an ability, i have to adapt and find some other way to cope....until I lose the ability to do THAT and then have to adapt and finding something else. its a constant state of having to adapt and adjust to a narrowing list of things you can still do. even diversions i used to enjoy dont give me much pleasure. psychologists call this "anhedonia"--inability to feel pleasure. tv, video games, watching "duck soup," nothing does it...and i dont really look forward to much. i wanted to go on antidepressants but this one doctor i saw said that he wouldn't risk anything that might affect my heart rhythm. Dear Chesteronian, I definitely recommend the book! It is such a and enlightening read. I also struggle terribly with being scrupulous and over-meloncholic, and this book has REALLY helped me a lot. Sadness of itself is not a sin unless you let it take over you and change your actions (it is those wrong actions as the result of sadness that can then be considered a sin). Just as having a longing for meat on a Friday is not a sin unless you actually decide to eat it. Or not liking someone unless you act against them. God prefers for us to dwell on the present. Of course that is not always easy, and I speak from experience. I used to suffer from EXTREME depression and considered suicide several times when growing up. It was only the Catholic Faith saying I would go to hell if I killed myself that prevented me from doing so. God led you to embrace the married state and thinking to much about the past and what ifs will not change anything. Try to focus more on the present and what you can to do in the present. Even if handicapped a person can still do a lot for their family. Just having a joyful person around who loves them can lighten up everyone's mood. Offering up your penances and sacrifices, might play a bigger part in the salvation for your family than having had a normal family life. Nothing ever happens by mistake. Hang in there! You have all of our support! Keep fighting the good fight and may God bless you!
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Post by Marya Dabrowski on Jan 21, 2018 22:45:40 GMT -5
this is interesting. priests haverecommended this book to me, light and peace, because of scruples but this passage makes me very worried because I have clinical depression and so "sadness' isnt just a passing thing but a persistant state of the mind for me ive struggled with it off and on my whole life and "diversions" always did help. playing piano took me out of my own head and gave my mind and hands something constructive to do, plus it can be used to bless others. then i lost my ability to play piano which depresses the hell out of me. i can listen to music, but it just makes me sad that i cannot make music anymore. stuff like reading a book to my kids or hanging out with my 16 month old, while he's a walking ball of cuteness, all they do is just remind me what a afailure i am and how i'm failing them daily. cant stop thinking about howthey deserve better and i probably was wrong to think it was a good idea to marry and have children....i wasnt cut out for this. I think every parent feels this way sometimes but for me, it's every time i'm around my wife and kids. i guess there is a profound difference in sadness and depression...sadness is just a bad mood. moods come and go. but depression, severe depression is a different beast. if "sadness" / depression is a sin just seems like i am in a constant state of sin and i cant see it ever getting better. having a progressive disease means that when I lose an ability, i have to adapt and find some other way to cope....until I lose the ability to do THAT and then have to adapt and finding something else. its a constant state of having to adapt and adjust to a narrowing list of things you can still do. even diversions i used to enjoy dont give me much pleasure. psychologists call this "anhedonia"--inability to feel pleasure. tv, video games, watching "duck soup," nothing does it...and i dont really look forward to much. i wanted to go on antidepressants but this one doctor i saw said that he wouldn't risk anything that might affect my heart rhythm. Just try to remember that your being down is not helping you, or anyone else. "A cheerful heart makes good medicine." I'm sure you know this, but tell yourself every day, every second. Fake it till you make it.
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Post by Didymus on Mar 28, 2023 16:19:04 GMT -5
this is interesting. priests haverecommended this book to me, light and peace, because of scruples but this passage makes me very worried because I have clinical depression and so "sadness' isnt just a passing thing but a persistant state of the mind for me ive struggled with it off and on my whole life and "diversions" always did help. playing piano took me out of my own head and gave my mind and hands something constructive to do, plus it can be used to bless others. then i lost my ability to play piano which depresses the hell out of me. i can listen to music, but it just makes me sad that i cannot make music anymore. stuff like reading a book to my kids or hanging out with my 16 month old, while he's a walking ball of cuteness, all they do is just remind me what a afailure i am and how i'm failing them daily. cant stop thinking about howthey deserve better and i probably was wrong to think it was a good idea to marry and have children....i wasnt cut out for this. I think every parent feels this way sometimes but for me, it's every time i'm around my wife and kids. i guess there is a profound difference in sadness and depression...sadness is just a bad mood. moods come and go. but depression, severe depression is a different beast. if "sadness" / depression is a sin just seems like i am in a constant state of sin and i cant see it ever getting better. having a progressive disease means that when I lose an ability, i have to adapt and find some other way to cope....until I lose the ability to do THAT and then have to adapt and finding something else. its a constant state of having to adapt and adjust to a narrowing list of things you can still do. even diversions i used to enjoy dont give me much pleasure. psychologists call this "anhedonia"--inability to feel pleasure. tv, video games, watching "duck soup," nothing does it...and i dont really look forward to much. i wanted to go on antidepressants but this one doctor i saw said that he wouldn't risk anything that might affect my heart rhythm. Dear Chesteronian, I definitely recommend the book! It is such a and enlightening read. I also struggle terribly with being scrupulous and over-meloncholic, and this book has REALLY helped me a lot. Sadness of itself is not a sin unless you let it take over you and change your actions (it is those wrong actions as the result of sadness that can then be considered a sin). Just as having a longing for meat on a Friday is not a sin unless you actually decide to eat it. Or not liking someone unless you act against them. God prefers for us to dwell on the present. Of course that is not always easy, and I speak from experience. I used to suffer from EXTREME depression and considered suicide several times when growing up. It was only the Catholic Faith saying I would go to hell if I killed myself that prevented me from doing so. God led you to embrace the married state and thinking to much about the past and what ifs will not change anything. Try to focus more on the present and what you can to do in the present. Even if handicapped a person can still do a lot for their family. Just having a joyful person around who loves them can lighten up everyone's mood. Offering up your penances and sacrifices, might play a bigger part in the salvation for your family than having had a normal family life. Nothing ever happens by mistake. Hang in there! You have all of our support! Keep fighting the good fight and may God bless you! Rita, what you have written has reached me, I struggle with my scruples, I am melancholic, I think that this also helped me to approach music as a way of expressing all of that. I am usually thinking about the past, even those moments that I did not live, romanticizing instances, missing grandparents, etc. Also sometimes I feel devastated to be alone here with no one who shares my faith and my interests, apostasy in my family, old friends that I try not to visit, because I feel that those old worldly times are dragging me along, although today they are much calmer. The fact that they are irreligious is a danger because I sometimes fall into worldly illusion. Thanks for Crosby's music, he is also one of my favorite singers, his musician also makes me feel melancholy, from that time that we could still call "Catholic morality" although many things were already going wrong.
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John Lewis
Full Member
Reviewing the Knowledge
Posts: 369
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Post by John Lewis on Mar 31, 2023 12:26:33 GMT -5
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Post by RitaMarita on Apr 3, 2023 17:32:51 GMT -5
Dear Chesteronian, I definitely recommend the book! It is such a and enlightening read. I also struggle terribly with being scrupulous and over-meloncholic, and this book has REALLY helped me a lot. Sadness of itself is not a sin unless you let it take over you and change your actions (it is those wrong actions as the result of sadness that can then be considered a sin). Just as having a longing for meat on a Friday is not a sin unless you actually decide to eat it. Or not liking someone unless you act against them. God prefers for us to dwell on the present. Of course that is not always easy, and I speak from experience. I used to suffer from EXTREME depression and considered suicide several times when growing up. It was only the Catholic Faith saying I would go to hell if I killed myself that prevented me from doing so. God led you to embrace the married state and thinking to much about the past and what ifs will not change anything. Try to focus more on the present and what you can to do in the present. Even if handicapped a person can still do a lot for their family. Just having a joyful person around who loves them can lighten up everyone's mood. Offering up your penances and sacrifices, might play a bigger part in the salvation for your family than having had a normal family life. Nothing ever happens by mistake. Hang in there! You have all of our support! Keep fighting the good fight and may God bless you! Rita, what you have written has reached me, I struggle with my scruples, I am melancholic, I think that this also helped me to approach music as a way of expressing all of that. I am usually thinking about the past, even those moments that I did not live, romanticizing instances, missing grandparents, etc. Also sometimes I feel devastated to be alone here with no one who shares my faith and my interests, apostasy in my family, old friends that I try not to visit, because I feel that those old worldly times are dragging me along, although today they are much calmer. The fact that they are irreligious is a danger because I sometimes fall into worldly illusion. Thanks for Crosby's music, he is also one of my favorite singers, his musician also makes me feel melancholy, from that time that we could still call "Catholic morality" although many things were already going wrong. I haven't shared much on my blog in ages but I can definitely empathize with you... My family are all novus ordo as were any of my friends growing up who were religious. Obviously things are different now as I have found more traditional Catholic friends over the years and am married to a traditional Catholic and we are raising our children as such. But... I well remember the trials, persecutions, and sufferings of those past years. Keep fighting the good fight and may God bless you!
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